This is a subject that has been on my mind lately…why do some women not feel the need to work after divorce? The vast majority of us understand the need to become self-sufficient and able to provide financially for ourselves and our children. Some, however feel their ex-husband should continue to bare all the responsibility post-divorce or, they have the skewed belief that alimony and child support frees them up from having to worry about their future financial security.
I see this belief played out in my Facebook timeline constantly. Women divorce, spend years living off child support and alimony and then BAM, those funds run out and they pay the consequences of not planning ahead.
And, they justify this behavior by saying, “I was a stay-at-home mom and I’m going to continue to be a stay-at-home mom. That is all fine and dandy until your children are no longer at home, the child support comes to an end and alimony runs out. What then? Why aren’t these women wondering about who will send them monthly checks when the ex no longer has to or, starts refusing to?
I understand the fear associated with lifestyle changes that can come along with divorce. I was a stay-at-home mom for 14 years before my ex left and if all really were “fair in love and war” he should have been made to take care of the woman he abandoned. It isn’t fair though, and it does none of us any favors to hold onto the way things should be, instead of face the reality of how things now are.
Thanks to no-fault divorce laws women who are left behind can no longer depend on the man who left them to continue to take care of them. And there is no excuse for not taking care of ourselves.