At the end of my marriage, my life in bed was pretty much the same thing over and over and over. We had our way of doing it and sadly, it just got into a comfortable routine. There was zero romance and for me, there wasn’t any desire left. To be honest, I had to make myself be intimate with him just so he would leave me alone for a few days and quit asking for it.
Since my divorce was final about a year ago, I’ve had casual sex with 3 men, and let me sum it up with one word…HALLELUJAH!!!
Here are 8 reasons divorced intimacy is better than intimacy I had while married:
After sleeping with only one man for 12 years, being with someone new was exhilarating and made me feel like a woman again! Each guy was completely different and brought a new and exciting bag of tricks into the bedroom, on the couch, or in the shower. Exploring different types of men and their sexuality really opens your eyes to not only what was missing from your marriage, but also what you desire sexually. Not bad for the self-esteem either, which brings me to number 2 on the list.
Intimacy during my marriage did nothing for my self-esteem. Not because he didn’t say nice things, but because he said the same things repeatedly. I wanted to hear how sexy I was or how hot I made him, etc. But this didn’t happen and I wasn’t going to ask him to say those things. Intimacy as a newly divorced woman, however, pumped up my self-esteem like crazy! Knowing and feeling that someone else craved my body, for me, was an ultimate high. It took me from feeling like a frumpy, divorced mom of two to a rock ‘n roll sex goddess!
3. No strings attached:
That’s right! No strings attached. You don’t have to get up and cook them breakfast. You don’t have to wash their dirty underwear the next afternoon. You don’t even have to say goodbye if you don’t want to. If you take a man home for the sole purpose of being intimate with him, once you’ve achieved your goal, he can leave. It’s that simple.
4. Fewer inhibitions:
This one was true for me, but might not be the case for all women. I wanted to try new things in the bedroom when I was married, I just didn’t know how to tell him. He was the type that would have assumed I was having an affair if I brought up any new sexual positions, so I just didn’t bring it up. But since my divorce, I have had no problem at all telling my partner(s) exactly what I wanted. It’s liberating to say what you want them to do and not have to worry about being questioned about it.
5. You feel like a teenager again:
Remember when you were 16 and the rush you felt when you were making out with your high school sweetheart? Remember the feelings of butterflies whenever you spotted your crush? I am excited to report that those feelings come back! The first time I kissed a guy after my divorce, I have to admit that I was nervous. Ok…beyond nervous! We were sitting on the couch watching a movie, and I thought to myself “This is stupid! You’re an adult…kiss him already!” So I looked over at this big, gorgeous, hunk of a man, leaned toward him, and kissed him. The courage it took me to kiss him was well worth the make-out session that followed.
6. Fantasy fulfillment:
When you were married, did you ever have a sexual fantasy that didn’t get fulfilled? Was there something you wanted to try but never had the opportunity? Well, do I have news for you! There are tons of single men out there who would like nothing more than fulfilling your innermost sexual desires. We are sexual beings after all.
7. No more ruts:
No more intimacy on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays only. No more intimacy on a schedule. No more boring missionary position every single time you were intimate. No more waiting until the kids are asleep. No more! Whatever kind of rut you had while married is now officially over. You can now be intimate whenever you want, with whomever you want, and in whatever position you should so desire.
8. Sexual knowledge:
Even though you were married and were intimate with the same man for years, you are still more experienced than you were when you got married. You know what you are looking for in a sexual partner. You might prefer someone who isn’t afraid to take charge, tie you up, and ravage you all night long. Or maybe you would prefer to be the dominant one in the bedroom. Whatever your preferences are, make your experience work for you in finding the right sexual partner. Or at least, the right sexual partner for a night or two.
Len C says
This article reaks of lack of communication. Everything that was happening in that bedroom during marriage was due to lack of communication. I don’t know why people marry if they can’t even talk to each other, that should be a no brainer. Anyway, enjoy the sleeping around because when you’re past 60 that fun will be over.
All the points mentioned in this article applies equally to men as well