8 Tips For a Successful, First Post-Divorce “Sleepover”

If you are like me you aren’t into one night stands. If I’m going to be intimate and share my bed with someone it isn’t going to be after one night out and a few too many drinks.

I want to know quite a bit about him…his first and last name, his chosen career, his likes and dislikes and many other details that would lead me to believe he is someone I want to spend that kind of “time” with.

I remember my first post divorce love fondly. Especially that first sleepover and the preparation that went into making it perfect for both of us. And it was perfect! He didn’t turn out to be Mr. Right but memories of the excitement I felt and the warmth and romance of that night will be with me forever.

So, whether you are hoping for a long-term relationship or just special time with a special someone following the tips below will ensure there will be a next time and some very pleasant memories of your first time:

1. The Morning After: You don’t want to be rushed the morning after so plan your first sleepover the night before a day off. Nothing is sweeter than being able to linger in bed the morning after. Pillow talk!

2. Age Appropriate Bedroom: You are a grown woman, if you have a sock monkey or favorite teddy lounging on the bed, find a new place for it to spend the night. Few guys want to get freaky with a woman while surrounded by her stuffed animals. Unless, of course he is a different kind of freak!

3. Set The Atmosphere: This takes care of two issues. If it is the first time you’ve been naked in front of a man since your divorce, the right lighting will take care of any body image fears. Turn off all over-head lights and use lamps with low watt light bulbs. Throw a pretty scarf over a lamp for even more flattering and dramatic lighting. And of course use candles but only one or two, you don’t want to overdo it. I suggest unscented candles that won’t distract from natural body odor or any scent you choose to wear.

4. Pamper Him: Since he is staying the night have on hand anything he may need to ready himself for the next day. Buy an extra toothbrush, manly soap and have on hand disposable razors and shaving cream. Let him know you want him to feel pampered and special before leaving your home.

5. Do Away With Distractions: Turn off your cell, answering machine and land line. If you have children make sure they have an alternate number to call in case of emergencies. You don’t want your fun interrupted by distractions of any kind.

6. Stash Kids and Pets in a Safe Place: I’m sure if he likes you well enough to sleepover he likes them also BUT he is there to sleep with you, not pet Buster or socialize with little Danny and Marie. Make sure they are safe and sound and keep your focus on the job at hand…an evening of fun adult activities.

7. Stock Up on Accessories: Prepare the drawer in your nightstand with all the accoutrements a girl might need for a night of passion. You will need condoms; the best you can buy will offer the best protection. A tiny box of tissue comes in handy for any needed clean-up. And personal lubricant is a must if you are planning a sexual marathon.

8. Plan for The Morning After: Fresh brewing coffee, fruit and cereal to restore energy can be a sexy morning after treat. They do say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!