By Sinta Ebersohn for Good Men Project
It is never wise to make big decisions and take drastic action in a time of despair.
It was all a lie. Didn’t those vows mean anything? You never want to see your spouse’s face again, or be reminded of the worst mistake of your life! You just want to forget it ever happened, right?
If you are angry about what happened, overwhelmed by emotions and devastated because you are getting divorced, acknowledge all of it, but do NOT destroy your wedding photographs. Here’s why:
Here’s 9 Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Burn Those Wedding Photos:
1. Your wedding day was an important event in your life. In the big scheme of things, it involved celebrating love, family, and your bright future. Don’t underestimate the value of it.
2. It was probably the biggest and most elaborate event you will ever organize so successfully unless you have become a professional event organizer. Be proud of what you accomplished.
3. Your wedding photographs are a testimony to your youth and beauty. When have you ever been able to self-indulge by dressing with such style and looking so beautiful since?
4. Those photos will become the roots of your children’s family trees. The union that brought them into this world remains sacred to them, regardless of the duration thereof. Their place in an extended family is secured by it and their sense of self-grounded through it.
5. You can use your wedding photographs along with subsequent photos, to illustrate what happened due to the divorce and help your children come to terms with the changed status quo in an age-appropriate way.
6. Future additions to your family will definitely want to see what you were like before. Apart from the curiosity of a new partner, children and step-children will benefit from putting the whole picture together and linking it to their own.
7. Don’t discount the entertainment value of a trip down memory lane with the young generation having a good giggle at the fashion and trends of those days. Who knows, you and your ex might look back and laugh at yourselves one day…
8. Your wedding photos might include some last images of relatives who have passed away since or far removed relations and friends whom you haven’t seen for years. These pictures will certainly have some sentimental value for other members of your family as well.
9. Try to consider your children’s needs as well – they might really need to have happy photographs of their parents around, to help them cope with the stress of your divorce. Maybe they could keep some in the privacy of their own rooms so that you will not be confronted by it all the time.
You never know what the future holds. You may wish you still had them, many years from now. It is never wise to make big decisions and take drastic action in a time of despair. Store your wedding photographs away if you cannot bear to look at them right now or give them to a trusted family member or friend to hold onto for a while.
I disagree; I boxed up every photo of him (30 years worth); his family including wedding photos with him and his friends and family and sent them to him. I carefully boxed up each of our children’s photos with him and me and gave to each child. I kept my own photos and only the wedding photos of me or my friends and family. Any that were of us together, I thoroughly enjoyed burning, along with our marriage license, honeymoon pics, etc. I’ve never regretted getting rid of everything that signified him in any way. My goal was to make him as much as possible a blank spot. Three years later, it’s pretty much worked.