Many of us look at divorce as the death of a vision. In many ways, it is as we come to the realization that our marriage consists of two imperfect people striving for a perfect marriage but unable to fulfill the commitment to their vows.
At the time my marriage ended it was difficult to see beyond my shattered dreams. The thought of being single after a 21-year marriage left me wanting to hurl more than my last meal! Yes, things were about to change but one thing that would never change was that I was a mom, and would always be a mom. My heart was hurting but it was not depleted of love! My yearning for something more was not going to go away until I boldly embraced the future and forgave the past. This is when I truly began to enjoy being single and loving it!
If being single again has you down I urge you to look up! This is your time to discover who you are today and where you’re going. Whether you have children or find yourself childless, you will discover passions that have been dormant and waiting to come out and play! It’s your turn!
For now, I ask you to grab hold of your favorite drink and prepare to smile at the future because here are 8 things you’re going to love about your new single life!
1. Remember life doesn’t end after divorce. You’re now free to embrace how you want to live each day without the influence of a negative marriage beating you down. You now have freedom to explore new dreams. It can be as simple as sleeping in, watching your favorite shows, traveling, going to church or eating cereal for dinner. How crazy you want to get with your new single life is up to you!
2. You’re free to create a home where you set the tone. No more fighting and arguing. You can have peace within your home! You can create the atmosphere that represents you and all that you love! Family, spirituality, and laughter are all a process. It’s never too late to build something new!
3. If you have kids you’re now able to devote more focused time with them as you co-parent. Let us not forget it takes a village! Allow those you trust to offer relief and support as you tend to other things. As always, working at being better creates better…a better mom and a better YOU!
4. Use this transition time as a teaching moment for the kids. They too have to learn to adapt to new schedules, a new home, and having to become more organized with their time. We live in a fast-paced, constantly changing society. It’s important our kids learn how to navigate change without losing themselves. Seize the teachable moments so they too can learn how to become better at living life just like you.
5. How about that photography class, the gym or a new job? Well, you can stop procrastinating because the time is now. Remember, there is no one holding you back!
6. No more saying no to girl time! Get out there and nurture your soul while spending time with your BFF. After all, who knows you better than your BFF!
7. Remember you control your thoughts and words. No matter what was put out there in the past you are free to choose your words for your future. There is no one to block your view from the beauty you hold within. It’s time to shine!
8. You say you’re tired and need rest? Well, the bedroom is all yours now! Replace the snoring with your favorite music. And don’t forget to redecorate with all the color and pillows your heart desires. Oh, and bring out those fragrant candles and let them fill the air! Girl, it’s your turn to snuggle up with warm blankies as you drift into sweet dreams of a brighter future!
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I found it so liberating to lose all the things we ‘feel’ we have to do for our ex’s…..I would be forced to buy all his family holiday & special occasion gifts/cards, which I would just stress over. We did not get along, especially the last 5 or so years, and I felt the need to find them that one gift which would make them happy, the card that would bring us together….so on. But I just ended up HATING the holidays or birthday. Not having to do that this year, seriously, almost removed all stress that I used to carry from Oct-Jan. It was AMAZING. I also relish napping without guilt, cooking or eating ice cream or nothing when I want, my velvet gray couch and pretty gold little things..going out on a Monday until 2am if I don’t have my tween…I find more to enjoy all the time. When you begin becoming or reverting to YOU again is when you start to rediscover life’s little pleasures.