The signs. We have all seen them, and most of us have ignored them at one time or another, wanting desperately to hold onto something not worth holding onto. Here are a few red flags that I wish I would NOT have ignored and hopefully will send you not only walking, but screaming and running in the opposite direction.
1) Your partner wants to have a say in EVERY cent you spend. I am not talking about sharing large purchase decisions with your long time partner, I am talking about getting chastised for buying your child a pair of pajamas or yourself a t-shirt off the clearance rack at Walmart.
2) Your partner calls their parents by their first names. I know this seems small, but if you are a family oriented person, this is disrespectful and should open your eyes to possible other disrespectful behaviors.
3) Your partner’s family or parents frequently call for help with household chores and fixes. This is a sign of co-dependence in the family. Co-dependence and narcissism go hand in hand and sometimes are indistinguishable in the beginning of a relationship.
4) Your partner is not a partner. If tasks or chores are easily thrust upon you, even if it makes your life a million times harder just to shred a tiny bit from their life, run for the hills. This behavior worsens with time. Takers are never partners and no one deserves a life of being sucked dry.
5) Excuses to not spend time together come often. Everyone needs alone time, but if your partner is not engaged in trying to spend time together, then you owe it to your self esteem to walk away and find the person who wants the same things you do.
6) If you are a divorced parent, your partner parents your children without asking your boundaries first.
7) Knowledge of your partner emotionally or physically abusing in the past. It does not matter how “psycho” the ex supposedly is, or any other excuse you are told. Abuse of any kind will surface in your relationship as well.
8) When constant communication feels like it is turning to “keeping tabs” on you.
9) When your partner frequently puts down, even if they say they are “joking” other races, groups or sexes. Disrespect is disrespect and it WILL fall onto you.
10) My favorite, a partner that says “I have no problem with my partner making more money than I do!” is doing nothing more than the declaring a complete lack of work ethic.
I could go on and on. This honestly took me about 15 minutes to think of the first 10. What are your red flags?