I am a completely different person post divorce vs. pre-marriage. I have matured in my views of dating and the behavior that is and is not acceptable from someone I want to date. The type of man I am attracted to has completely changed. I have lived and I have learned. I think the greatest thing I have learned is not to force anything, and not reduce to chasing anyone. I believe the people who belong in my life will cross my path and stay. Those who don’t, will move on or be pushed out.
When you meet and find you really like THAT GUY, there are a few things you can do to catch his attention and stay in his thoughts. I am a people watcher and little things capture my attention. I have learned a lot since my divorce. Movies are so cliché, but many get it right in determining what attracts and keeps a man’s attention. The Ugly Truth and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days have some very good points.
1) Be in check with what you and he want from the relationship.
Is he Mr. Right Now or Mr. Forever? You need to know before getting involved with someone who wants the opposite.
2) Be witty.
Guys love it when they can make you laugh, but they also love witty battles and the occasional teasing little zinger thrown their way.
3) Don’t be a “beckon call” girl.
Guys like their alone or guy time, and like knowing you have your own life as well. You will gain more respect if you are not ALWAYS available or answer all his calls and texts immediately. It is ok to expect an equal relationship, so don’t always be the one to text or call him first.
4) Always be honest.
There is no bigger turn off than finding out someone isn’t really who they presented themselves to be.
5) Say something flirty, then walk away.
Guys like a little bit of a chase. You want to leave him thinking about you. If you chase him, he could become bored or turned off.
6) Don’t whine, beg him to date you or create drama.
Enough said. It’s just pathetic, and pathetic is never endearing.
7) Wear clothes that are a little sexy, but don’t look like you charge by the hour.
Dane has had me rolling laughing describing the clothing girls from his past have worn on dates. Non-matching knee high tube socks and a belt with bullets on it are not attractive at any age, but especially when you are no longer in your teens. The same goes for a hoodie and baggie jeans on the first date. He wants to be proud to be seen with you.
8) Be open minded to new adventures.
Guys love sharing their interests and hobbies. I learned to golf and fell in love with the game due to someone I dated. I have found I love nothing more than piddling around the farm doing chores in the peace and quiet of the beautiful rolling hills.
9) Don’t automatically expect him to pay for everything.
Guys don’t like to feel financially raped or like they are only being sought for their money or willingness to buy things.
10) First and foremost, be yourself.
Don’t ever start down the road of changing who you are for someone else. It is a long and painful road, and no man deserves you if he doesn’t like you for YOU.
Great article, and so true. The second a girl becomes needy, the relationship is over. Ie had a ys do some of those things with me and when that happens, I’m done–like run away get away from me done. I love it!