I have completely re-written this post 3 times now. I just can’t seem to get my words to flow. MY first two posts seemed to be going back to the negative and focusing on the struggle.
I am so tired of that. That way of living is just too exhausting.
Grant asked me to do something this week. He told me he needed to have “someone to connect to” with a favorite book series, so asked me to pick it back up and continue reading. I didn’t quite make it through the first book before I lost interest and never went back. SOOOO, I promised I would pick it up at the second book and go from there. Grant was very happy.
I am now 77 pages into Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan. It’s actually tolerable compared to some books I have picked up lately.
What a mom won’t do to have a little more connection to the son alienated against her at every breath by his narcissistic father.
But hey, it’s something, and he asked ME, not daddy to read it. We have always shared a love of books and reading. I am just going to be thankful for a new subject to discuss, and not hyper-analyze. I have been guilty of that in the past, too.
I am also NOT going to analyze how he COMPLETELY blew me off tonight on the phone when I tried to tell him about it… because he had a video game on PAUSE and it would go back to play mode if he didn’t get back fast enough. SIGH.
………Positive vibes…….focus only on positive…….
He is going to grow up and be a healthy, respectful, thoughtful adult. At the moment he is a typical self indulgent teenager at his father’s home. For all I know, Ted could have been standing there.
My lil G-man is still in there, and I won’t let go of the full belief in his goodness overpowering negative influences. He is thoughtful with his friends, and stands up for what is right to them. He has good values and a good heart. He will be ok.
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