It may be the Polar Vortex messing with me. I’ve been hanging out in the house for a couple of days now, unwilling to brave the super wind chill and drive into work. It’s both good and bad to work from home. This winter has been a driving challenge as my car sucks in snow so I’m happy that I have the option to work from home. The downside is I get nestled in my cave and eventually even I, an introvert, start to crave a little human interaction.
Maybe I have Cabin Fever, but I don’t think that’s quite it. I just miss Husband #2.
I actually miss him specifically.
There are some parts of daily life that I enjoyed sharing with him. I knew he was interested. Just tiny things. Like the local bald eagles laying eggs in the nest and watching them on the Eagle Cam. Or having him take the lead on the elliptical repair. He has the know-how and the skills to replace the wheels and belt that it requires. Or showing him the seed catalogs, carefully dog-eared with the seed packets that I’ve picked out for the garden this spring. Or just trudging through the yard following the deer tracks to the rhododendrons they’ve decided to chomp on during the hard winter. Or that my favorite candy in the world is now discontinued. Then there’s my sister’s cancer…
Yesterday I had sushi.
By itself, having sushi isn’t a big deal — not exactly high on the list of my traumatic events. But it was part of a ritual Husband #2 and I had when going out of town to visit my sister and her family. There was a stop at the great local grocery store (which isn’t in our area) for tasty items such as multi-grain bread, specialty coffee, cannolis, peach muffins, indy beers, and spicy tempura shrimp rolls. We’d eat one package of sushi before we left the parking lot and then follow it with a pretzel roll or two. On the long drive home we’d pick at some of our other food treasures, like the buttery, almond-filled croissants tucked in a brown paper bag.
And we had a funny sushi story. Husband #2 and I would always laugh about his first venture into the land of green horseradish (aka wasabi!). Let’s just say many tears were shed.
I’m drooling. And I miss my husband.
Maybe it’s the lack of sex talking. I miss that too.
I guess I’m not cut out for this separation thing. There are plenty of couples who live apart purposely, for whatever reason, and they are happy with the arrangement. I’m not one of them. I want that shared experience. I’ve done the living alone thing for almost a decade. I’m not a fan. I like having another person to bounce ideas off of and to learn from and to share with.
Blame it on my big family.
It’s not like I need constant interaction. I just want someone on the couch next to me, so I can tuck my cold toes under his legs to keep them warm. I like having a second person to cook for. And someone to curl around on a cold winter night.
Maybe that’s it. The nights have been especially cold lately. Back to that Polar Vortex.
Or maybe I’m right in the middle of a difficult situation and being completely honest with what I like and don’t like. What a novel idea…being open and upfront about what my preferences are…
For now I will be patient and consistent and slow-moving. Like a glacier. A big giant glacier that likes sushi.