I saw this saying in a store once a long time ago. Back when I was skinny. I didn’t get it then. I get it now.
I understand it better after giving birth to children, spending years sitting at a desk, and generally just getting too lazy to get up and exercise. Husband #1 gave me the skinniest years of his life too. We both got fat as we turned into adults.
And then Husband #1 started working out. I tell people I’m thankful that Husband #1 started his mid-life crisis in his 30’s. It gave me a running start to get my own life in order. I would have rather been left in my 30’s than in my 40’s. After all, who wants a woman in her late 40’s when there are so many hot 20- and 30-year old women out there for older men to chase?
That’s my insecurity talking to me. It tells me I’m not skinny enough, pretty enough, interesting enough to keep a new man interested. But now I’m fighting back against my insecurity. I find that I am prettier than it thinks. I’m skinnier than it sees me. And I’m one interesting person who likes to learn new things.
And the sexiest, most attractive part of me? I care about the people I’m with. It doesn’t matter who: friends, spouses, kids, clients, total strangers. I love to hear their stories, find out where they’re from, what makes them tick. People tell me things they don’t tell anyone else. I keep their secrets.
It’s the care-taker in me. Love means opening yourself up, being interested in another person’s journey, and stepping outside of your own narcissism.
You know, I got fat after 3 kids. Didn’t lose the weight in between and now I’m trying to struggle with it. But I did realize that it doesn’t define me. It doesn’t make a difference in what I am capable of in my career and it doesn’t make me a better friend or even lover. I think that sexy is completely between the ears.