The man who presided over our wedding ceremony is dying.
He’s suffering from the same form of cancer that killed my father. Stage 3 esophogeal cancer. He retired from our parish 2 years and 4 months ago.
When Husband #2 and I met with him to discuss the wedding ceremony, we asked him to skip the ever popular Corinthians “Love is patient. Love is kind…” and make our sermon more about forgiveness and second chances. We felt it was fitting since Husband #2 and I had a trio of divorces under our belt but we were still optimistic about marriage to each other.
At the end of the day, I told Husband #2 that I was looking forward to throwing our 5th anniversary party, I had so much fun surrounded by his love and the joy of our family and friends. Five years later, we celebrated again and I felt the same flutters for him that I did back at the beginning of our relationship.
It saddens me to think of our pastor suffering with cancer. I’m certain this isn’t what he had planned for his retirement. It brings to mind a quote I saw yesterday:
One day, you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now. ~ Paulo Coelho
So many times we put our people, our ideas, our dreams, our goals on the shelf, thinking there will be plenty of time in the future to pull them down and dust them off when we’re finally ready.
But life fails to take into account our procrastination. Life moves on whether we want it to or not. People leave, ideas fade, goals fall by the wayside, and dreams remain dreams simply because we push them further and further down the line never assigning a “complete by” date.
Until one day when the big stamper comes flying out of the sky and marks EXPIRED on our foreheads.
I’m guilty of life procrastination… One of my big goals is to learn my family’s native tongue and return to the homeland we left when I was just 18 months old. Originally my plan was to return after college and I attempted language classes in high school. But it was not to be. I barely made it through two years and can’t speak at the level I had aspired to.
Life after college graduation also didn’t conform to what I had hoped. Finding a job in my field proved difficult and money was extremely tight until some years after Son #1 surprised us with his arrival. All of a sudden my solo trek across the ocean turned into a family pilgrimage with a husband and baby in tow. It was not in the cards or the budget.
Then many years later, Husband #2 bought me the Rosetta Stone program for my birthday, at my request. I think that was in 2004… Over the next 10 years I installed the software on my computer and even started the lessons a handful of times, only to have my attempts at learning a (new) language pushed out by my full time work and my part time involvement in Husband #2’s business.
Eventually my part time efforts turned into full time efforts which led to 24/7 self-employment and helping Husband #2 grow and operate his company.
Now I have the time, since Husband #2 left me and the business behind, but the Rosetta Stone box still sits on the shelf, slightly dusty and somewhat mocking me.
It has crossed my mind, many times, to install the software on this latest computer, use the headset that Son #2 handed down to me, and finally mark off one of the to-do items on my life list.
But that activity still gets pushed to the side, bringing to mind a second quote:
If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. ~ Jim Rohn