“Divorce tries its best to suck the fun out of these special holidays because the brief time you have with your kids is now made even briefer by visitation schedules with someone who used to be a partner.” That pretty much sums up the mood of my earlier blog post, It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, Unless You’re Divorced. Yes, the combination of divorce and holidays really stinks so today I’m going to point out all of the potentially positive aspects that may get forgotten along the way…
There is no longer a need to make food that you don’t want to for a spouse who isn’t around. Husband #1 loved these dry, awful cookies that were a horror to make. I love all kinds of food but these horrid cookies were something only he could stomach. I dreaded the process. He left and I burned the recipe card in the fireplace. Merry Christmas to me.
Similarly, Husband #2 wanted Stove Top Stuffing for Thanksgiving. I have nothing against the fine folks over at Kraft but when it comes to holiday stuffing, I have a recipe I like to use with chopped apples, fresh cranberries, and onions. As the holiday meal cooker, it rubbed me wrong to make boxed stuffing for my big homemade spread… like I was phoning it in. Husband #2… gone. Stove Top… off the menu.
Same goes for pumpkin pie and a turkey with drumsticks. No one left here eats those things so I can get a bone-in turkey breast and we all have French Silk pie instead.
Similarly, I can play my extensive collection of traditional Christmas music without having to listen to the Kinks’ Father Christmas. Personal preference: I want my Christmas tunes upbeat, happy, and respectful. Out the window with demands for money and threats of violence. Yes, I know that the song is about poor kids, but I still don’t like it. Gone, gone, gone.
You know how the catalogs arrive and Pottery Barn and Crate & Barrel have these beautiful decked out scenes of trees with matching presents underneath? With Husband #2’s departure, I can finally do something I’ve always wanted to do – match my wrapping paper and tree decorating. I just wanted to do this ONCE, but every time I would try, Husband #2 would thwart my efforts. If I bought all blue and white paper with sparkly silver ribbons, he would dig in the back of the attic to find a roll of green paper and wrap it with raffia ribbon. OK, not a bad look but if I wrapped everything in homey green and red paper with raffia ribbon, he would pull out metallic copper paper and throw on purple ribbon. Bonus stars for finally having a color-coordinated Christmas! Just once…. just once…
As trivial as this may seem, I finally had my birthday off. As in “no work”. Having spent the last dozen years in the company of clients on my big day, it was nice not to have to dress up for someone else. On my big day, I hung out with my friend and went shopping. She treated me to lunch and dinner and for the first time in a long while, people worked for me on my birthday rather than the other way around. Selfish? Petty? I prefer Pampering.
That brings me to New Year’s Eve… Maybe my friends and I will go to our local outdoor festival and celebrate with music, food, and hot toddies. Perhaps I’ll even kiss a total stranger at the stroke of midnight… Or maybe I’ll hang out with whatever odd kid is at home this year and watch movies while rolled up in blankets with cups of hot chocolate and non-dry cookies at our fingertips…
This time of year is what I choose to make it….
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