First I want to let you know that I have nothing against marrying a trophy wife as long as it is your first marriage. Some of my close friends are trophy wives (or were, they are my age now). The difference is their husbands knew from the start that they wanted a much younger wife. They raised lovely families together and are still married. I should add that the wives are now feeling a little stressed due to the advanced age of their husbands, but that’s life!
Left For a Younger Woman? 7 Things I’d Like To Say To Him!
1. I’m sorry, I don’t get it! I still don’t understand why a younger woman would want to date an older man. I’m older and I don’t even want to date men my age, so why on earth would they want to. Maybe it’s due to daddy issues. Maybe they are just tired of working and want a sugar daddy. After all, how many older men without money, driving crappy cars do you see with hot young women?
2. When we were young (yes, that means you too) there didn’t seem to be as many older men/younger women couples. My friends and I never thought about dating someone older, we were having too much fun with men our own age. We didn’t care how much money an older man may have had. So what does this say about the type of women that are willing to break up a marriage? How long will they be satisfied with you as their prize and how long will your relationship last before they do some trading in of their own?
3. I understand that men are visual creatures and looking at a wife your own age day after day may conflict with your inner self-image. You may think that being with a younger woman makes you appear younger. After all you aren’t spending the majority of your time looking into a mirror, so looking at a younger woman may actually fool you into believing you are young again. It actually has the opposite effect on the rest of us. Seeing an older man with a younger woman only makes you look older. Whenever my friends and I see an older man at dinner with a younger woman, we laugh and say how nice we think it is that a father still takes his daughter out to dinner, they must be close!
4. Maybe you are dating a younger woman due to your full-blown midlife crisis. You might have purchased a sports car and started dying your hair. When that didn’t assuage your ego you probably thought that dating someone younger would help you recapture your youthful, hassle-free lifestyle. Let me warn you, younger women do not come without complications. They may have emotional baggage that a lot of older women have already worked through.
5. Younger women have biological clocks that may still be ticking and they may want to have children. Maybe you think you want more kids to start over again because you screwed it up the first time. Perhaps in your first marriage, you thought you wanted to have kids but when you realized it was hard work you lost interest. If you do decide to have a second family, studies now show that your sperm does age ( similar to our eggs). So if you father children at an advanced age you risk having offspring with Down syndrome, autism, and even schizophrenia. Sounds like a second family may present more problems than your first one did.
6. There are numerous men out there that are more handsome, more mature and more self-confident than you are. Hugh Jackman is a wonderful example. His wife is 13 years older than he is and they have been married for almost 20 years. He is tall, self-assured and absolutely gorgeous, not to mention famous. Hollywood is a hotbed of temptation and I’m sure he has more than his share of invitations to stray, but he puts his family first which is how married life is supposed to be.
7. When you married your first wife, you made a vow of ‘till death do us part, if you are reading this now it means you aren’t dead yet. Grow up!
My ex married a younger woman. I honestly could care less. I found love with someone who is around my age, learned from the mistakes in his first marriage and is now a better man.
I think the allure of a younger woman has less to do with looks, and more to do with what seems like a lot less baggage. I will admit that as I have become older, I am wiser and perhaps much more bitter. I absolutely don’t put up with things now as much as I did when I was younger.
Being older and wiser, I as a person have learned to live life on my terms. I don’t think that I personally would want to put up with an older immature man like my ex at my age.
I actually feel bad for the new wife. She is getting the older, much bigger, balding man. When I was with him he was young and had youthful energy. I really can’t see the allure of one day being middle aged with a guy that is in his 60’s.
Karma, I’m living it. A fun little office daillance turned into me taking care of a guy twenty years older than me who is no longer fun, sexy, or even employed (we both got fired from being caught). He now pays half of whatever he has to his ex., his kids hate him, and he is so insecure that I can barely be out of his sight. When I look at him all I see are my mistakes staring back.
Holy moley – you nailed it! Thank you for this article! It really helped me feel better to read it. You expressed my feelings so succinctly. It made me feel less “crazy”.
Thank you so much, I am glad my article helped! You have also helped me by reminding me why I am writing!
Thank you so much for writing this. I haven’t slept or eaten for 3 days – my husband left me for someone 19 years younger very recently – but your article helped me take my first deep breath.
I am so happy my article helped. You are not alone, it seems to happen so often. Thank you too for letting me know I need to write!
Mine left after 16 years married at 47 yrs old for a 28yrs old co-worker he met 3 months prior.
She got pregnant by accident within 2 weeks and I can tell you that his bubble of joy broke there and then. He went from being crazy happy walking on air to looking dreadful and haunted. Now the baby is born and he looks absolutely knackered. Our children have refused to meet her. My daughter doesn’t even speak to him anymore she is so angry another woman her age took her dad from her and he has made it clear she is his new priority. We all relocated to a different town and he was so shocked to see us all go. I got all the house still under mortgage in the settlement and all our savings because I had cancer when he left. He recently confided in a coworker that he had never been so unhappy and unwell may it be on a professional or personal level in his entire life… and he is a brand new dad to his new soul mate so what does that say?
I think he went though a midlife.crisis and thought he was gonna be refreshed and renewed. He discarded us without a second glance but I am not sure he gained anything. My cancer is in remission, I am alone to raise our son on a very low income, I used the money to rehouse us. We loved him to bits and we reacted so bad because we all relocated towns and country many times to accomodate his career and he walked out the minute I needed him.
I have cried every tears in my body. In therapy to get over it which I can’t. He has destroyed us all and he is not very happy either WOW just WOW
I am so glad to hear your cancer is in remission and I i’m so sorry you’re still so sad. I will never understand how anyone can walk away from their family but it happens so often. My family is also still dealing with this. Please know you are not alone, I am working to be happy and I hope you can as well . Our ex’s do not deserve our tears.
You sound extremely resentful about your life under the guise of self reassurance. The mental facade that gets projected on social media by millions of miserable people. It takes two, he didn’t leave you for no reason.
No he didn’t leave for no reason, he left for another woman. There is a right to leave and a wrong way to leave. He, evidently, didn’t have the guts it takes to do it the right way.
I am a male. Late 40’s. Divorced twice. One awesome son with second marriage. I have work hard to have a successful coparenting relationship with my ex… we just love our son more than anything else. I am back into the dating circle. I have witness my father marrying someone 20 years younger. I have two younger siblings as a result. However, my dad has a hard marriage, full with ironies and unhealthy drama. So what is my point? I desire a younger women. Why? Carol nailed it. Some desire are meant to be indicator of the need for healing. Thank you Carol for turn pain into a mode of healing for others.