It happened to me too! She was half his age and knew he had a family, of course, she did, we had met many times! She went after him despite the children or the wife. For money? For power? Just to prove that she could? Who knows, it doesn’t matter anymore, she has already come and gone, like a violent storm leaving nothing but destruction behind in its path: a broken family still in the middle of divorce proceedings.
I will never understand why women keep doing this! As long as women keep hurting each other instead of supporting one another it will always be a man’s world.
Even though I know she will never read this, here are the four things I wish I could have told her.
1. It is so easy for a man to be attracted to someone young.
All you really needed to do was compliment him and make him feel special. He met me when we were both young and beautiful. That first spark of attraction when that first rush of adrenaline hits is such an incredible feeling. To be young and in love with no responsibilities and no ties. Freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want. it is so easy to fall in love when you are young and your lives are uncomplicated.
2. Marriage is not easy.
After the courtship phase, real life settles in and you work hard to build your lives together and sometimes the joy you feel gets hidden under the weight of your day to day lives. We supported each other through school and bad jobs and then really long hours at work which are all part of that struggle to “make it”. We had children and raised a family together. Raising children changes a marriage, and your roles become mom and dad and that can take a toll on a marriage.
3. Your decision to go after a married man changed many lives.
Did you ever think of what this would do to his children? You might believe that everything will be ok, or more likely you don’t really care, but your decision has disrupted a family. When you have children you promise them a family and now that promise has been broken. It really doesn’t matter what age the children are there is no perfect time to break-up a family. At holidays or special times my kids now have no family to return to. After all those years together now our family is gone and it will never be the same.
4. He is not the man you thought he was.
For years I was verbally abused and felt unloved and unappreciated. That said here I would also like to thank you for giving me my life back. I would never have broken up my family, even for my own happiness. So as broken as my family currently is, you didn’t destroy us. We are beginning to adjust to our new lives and hopefully become a stronger and perhaps even happier family as we learn to dance in the rain!