A Letter To His Mistress, A Woman I Thought Was My Friend
Dear Husband’s Mistress,
You were my friend. At least I thought you were. You were part of a circle of friends from the neighborhood we used to live in. At the time, we were all young married couples, and you and your husband used to hang out with me and mine and one other couple almost every weekend. We laughed, played cards, went out dancing, sat under the stars drinking wine, and shared in a special camaraderie as military spouses who did not yet have families.
You knew everything about us. You knew we had been struggling to have a baby. You knew our hopes and dreams. You posed as a girlfriend to me, all the while sneaking around with my husband. You betrayed my trust, not only in you; but, you made me less trusting of everyone because now I know that not everyone can be entirely trusted. Even a friend can turn into a betrayer.
You were beautiful. No doubt about it, you were the kind of woman who turns every man’s head. Tall, lean, blonde bombshell with an easygoing personality and emanating an attitude of cool. You were exactly his “type.” It’s kind of crazy because he married me, more of an exotic type with deep dark eyes and hair, but he always gravitated toward very tall modelesque blondes. Both his mother and sister were this type, and he was always so proud of their beauty. I guess it’s weird that his mistress would end up being someone who so closely resembled his mom and sister!
I trusted you for as long as I knew you. Like a naïve fool, I watched you and your sweet husband get deployed to another base, then the other couple we were friends with, never knowing that the two of you were involved. In fact, we divorced and I did not find out about you until years later.
How did I find out? In an odd twist of fate, I met his wife and she told me all about their marriage, which was quickly on its way to divorce. She told me how she learned of him cheating on her all through their marriage- what a gem he was! She found out when he was deployed somewhere for a month and a nosy/concerned neighbor clued her in on his infidelity with another neighbor through an anonymous letter. I guess it worked like a charm with you, so why not go at it again?
When his wife confronted him about the letter, she said he hastily denied it and said it was a misunderstanding. Did you know your husband called him awhile later? He must’ve found out when the two of you started to divorce. My guess is he caught you whoring around again and the whole ugly truth about every nasty affair you ever had came spilling out. He called to confront my ex about the “ongoing affair” you two had. His then wife reported that he turned white as a ghost and confessed to her about the two of you, trying to make it sound as though that anonymous letter was about your involvement in the past. It wasn’t. You’re two cheating birds of a feather!
So, how did it feel to be such a lying, two-faced whore? Did you ever have any regrets or moments of remorse as you heard us talk about going through IVF treatments to have a baby? Did you ever feel like a piece of trash when he told me he loved me in front of you or when I threw you a birthday party and helped out with your pets when you were on vacation?
When did you manage to meet up together without either of our spouses or friends knowing what you were up to? Whose bed were you defiling? What lies did you tell to sneak away? How could you look me in the eye or stand the sight of your pretty self in the mirror? Just remember that pretty fades away, and all you will have left is a tiny black heart capable of lying, cheating, and hurting others.
Just so you know, I feel terrible for your husband. Maybe you never did, but he never did anything to deserve this. He adored you. Anyone could see how much he loved you! What’s more, he was handsome, educated, and really going places! I’m proud of what a success he is today and glad that he has found love again in the arms of a beautiful and very successful woman! You should be ashamed of yourself for breaking his heart and betraying him as you did!
You always joked that your mom told you to marry a nerd because they would be faithful and loving, so you did. Well, he may have been smart and focused; but, if you couldn’t be true to him, then maybe you should have been true to yourself and either not gotten married or run off with a bad boy instead of the good guy. You and my ex deserve each other. He always wanted the leggy blonde and you were too cool for a decent guy who was committed to you. Neither of you should have drug either of us into your low self-esteem and non-committal thrill-seeking games. You can have my trash. He lost a second good wife to follow his penis instead of his brain, so now’s your chance to catch him- not that a wedding ring ever stood in your way!
I hope, for your sake, that your children don’t come to learn what a shallow, untrustworthy, morally bankrupt woman their mother is. I hope that their innocence forced a change in you to make you find a decent person within you. You did wrong by your husband and a friend, so hopefully, you are capable of modeling decency, honor, and love to your offspring.
Don’t worry, I’m not one of those women who place all the blame on the other woman. I have no respect for you and I know that you’re not fit to lick the dirt off of my shoes, but he is an even bigger sack of crap! It took both of you to completely dismiss all decency, value for your spouses or the vows you took to lose yourselves in lust and gamble on your marriages. I know that you will both get out of life what you have put into it. Both the good and the bad that you have put out to the universe will be returned to you. I pity both of you for being so pathetic and disgusting, but I would never take either of you back as either husband or friend!
Thank you for being a party to teaching me some very heavy life lessons! They were not fun, but they have made me a stronger and even more amazing woman who outshines you in every possible way!
Your former friend and neighbor aka “the wife”
This is the kind of letter you write for your own sake. You don’t send it, let alone publish it.
Audrey Cade says
Thanks for sharing your opinion! Divorce and infidelity are rough things to go through, and some people find it helpful to know that they’re not alone because others have been through a similar situation. I am taking bad experiences from my life and trying to turn them into something positive either with a lesson learned or showing others just entering those times that there is light on the other side. My divorce experience may not be like yours and perhaps we wouldn’t each handle situations the same way. In this particular situation, I did no wrong, and I do feel that the two people who cheated on and hurt their spouses should know how they made their victims feel and be accountable. Too much time has past since this occurred for me to pursue anything further, but had I known what happened at the time I so would have mailed it to her! Different strokes for different folks!
I am using your letter as a guide to write my own. My husband had an affair with a women my family took in as a friend, my entire family sisters, brothers and my parents. Not only a friend but my sons girlfriends mother. Yes they should be held accountable. My husband has been, we loss our home, he loss friends and his children. He is living with his actions each day, my children have chosen to hold him accountable in there own way which is loss of respect trust and honor. I plan to mail her the letter and may mail it to others that see her as their friend. This is not her 1st rodeo. She has also done this in the past. I was not aware of her ways until it was to late. Absolutely write the letter absolutely mail it.