Exes and Taxes: They Both Live To Make Us Pay!

 

The IRS and an ex…there’s really not much difference! Prepare to have someone else in your business making everything complicated and painful!

 

One of the least desirable annual things I dread is the arrival of tax season. Ugh! Even if I’m fortunate enough to expect a decent refund, it’s still a pain in the you-know-what! I’m just not a fan of unearthing and categorizing receipts, trying to decipher the questions on the forms (seriously, I think you have to be a robot or a financial expert to understand what they’re talking about!), then giving up and paying someone else to file my return for me!

If you’re like me (not a math genius or financial wiz, but generally in favor of abiding by the law), the process is stressful, overwhelming, and leaves me holding my breath in fear that the IRS will knock down my door and arrest me if I make a tiny inadvertent mistake!

You might say that I have a similar sour feeling in my stomach after facing the tax man as I do facing my ex, which makes me think that there are probably more than a few similarities between the two!

How is an ex like the IRS and tax time?

They’re both super intimidating. Let’s face it, with either the Internal Revenue Service or our ex, we have a lot on the line, which can make us feel extreme pressure. These two cut no slack, and they will show no mercy if we make an error. It sure seems that they’re out to get us any way they can! They hold super important things over our heads with threats of court or losing everything we have. It’s enough to make me want to hide!

They’re both always in our business. Seriously, these two always feel the need to get into every little personal detail of our lives! Where did we go? How much did we spend? Who were we with? Who lives with us? Come on, already, and mind your own business!

They’re both always digging up the past. Don’t Uncle Sam and our ex know that it’s unhealthy to dwell on the past? They’re obsessed with examining and re-examining every little thing we’ve ever done. If we ever make a mistake, we’ll never hear the end of it, and they don’t know how to drop anything and just move on! At times, we may think an issue has been completely put to rest- leave it to these two to find a reason to bring it up again and make an issue out of it!

They’re both always taking. I’m not opposed to giving my fair share; but, with these two, there’s never enough! There’s always another fee or forgotten item to cough up money for! And, if we ever want to get our fair share out of them, be prepared to wait, beg, and argue for every last cent!

They both make us feel confused. My theory is that their game is to talk circles around us and confuse us to the point that we just give in because we can’t crack the code. Nothing is consistent. We’ll never get the same answer twice. Everything they say is in some sort of special language not meant for us to decipher. I think they really love making us feel inferior and unintelligent!

They both think we’re wrong- all the time! They love to point out mistakes. In fact, it’s doubtful that we’ll ever complete a transaction without them almost ecstatically pointing out that we somehow failed. Oh, and when we fail, the penalties are harsh. Just accept it now, we’ll never ever completely figure it out and should be fully prepared to hear that we screwed up again!

They both demand a ridiculous amount of documentation from us. It’s one thing to expect truth and transparency; but, quite another to have to produce a mountain of evidence to prove our every step! It’s tedious, time-consuming, and shall we say taxing?

If things go wrong with either, we’ll need a lawyer! We can hope to never end up on either our ex or the IRS’ bad sides; but, if we do, there’s a good chance we’ll need legal representation to straighten out the mess we’re in, and possibly a day in court! It’s a nightmare, to say the least; but, these two have a strong vindictive streak and a relentless need to be right. We should expect a conflict with either to be painful, drawn out, and unnecessarily complicated!

I’ll be looking forward to ushering tax season, and my ex, out of my life as soon as possible! I’m over having anyone in my business, jumping at the chance to accuse me of wrongdoing or to penalize me at the first opportunity. I’ll be a nervous wreck, holding my breath, until they finally make an exit and leave me alone!

I’m tired of being confused, intimidated, and, and jumping through hoops to appease their insatiable need to make us pay! Who’s with me?