Welcome to my new blog, Divorce Warrior! “What is a divorce warrior?” you might ask. You will see me use this term frequently in my writing because it is a title of honor and distinction that is near and dear to my heart. I am a divorce warrior, and because you are here reading this, I suspect you are as well.
One earns the right to call him or herself a divorce warrior after enduring the rigors of a divorce and surviving it. We warriors know that a divorce is an experience like no other in the way it will deconstruct you down to the molecular level as everything you have come to know and love throughout your marriage is stripped away. The home you lovingly built, family unity and dreams for the future suddenly crumble to dust.
In the darkest days of divorce, one can easily feel as though life is over and nothing could ever get worse. Perhaps you will discover lower levels of the “bottom” that you never imagined possible as you suffer through financial devastation, emotional torture, and immense uncertainty. You may feel abandoned by friends or family, responsible for destroying your children’s lives, and wracked with guilt or shame. The fire of this trial will leave permanent marks on your heart and on your soul…
It is only then, while staring up from the bottom of the deepest cavern of marital ruin that you will begin to ascend through layers of ash and debris – memories, court appearances, visitation schedules, separation – that you begin to proceed, fueled by a burning strength from within that you never knew you possessed. You will accomplish things you never before believed possible, climb to heights you never knew existed, and you will become acquainted with aspects of yourself that lay dormant until now.
The warrior will choose the path to victory, which includes self-discovery, a newfound ability to overcome fear and adversity, the opportunity to try and conquer new things, an appreciation for the lessons learned from those battle scars, the ability to forgive herself and others, and the capacity to grow and become the best version of herself! At the beginning of the divorce journey, it won’t seem likely that anything good could come out of a crumbling marriage; but, alas, a divorce warrior finds ways to strike out against the odds using weapons of humor, steely focus on her priorities, ambition to achieve new life goals, and determination not to repeat mistakes in the future.
A warrior accepts responsibility and the consequences of her own actions and learns not to let others control her emotions or ability to be happy. A warrior firmly plants her flag and claims ownership over her life and her family and turns her back to the smoldering carcass of the past with eyes fixed firm on the future.
Join me on the epic crusade of your divorce journey. I do not profess to be all knowing or free of imperfection, but you can lean on me for support at your weakest moments and take advantage of the strength and wisdom I have gained from my own experience. I am now back on the path life intended for me, raising my kids and step kids and seeking my fulfillment as a woman.
It will be my privilege to share with you what I know of breaking-up and divorcing, co-parenting, raising resilient children, re-marriage, blending families, developing strategies to interact with high conflict exes, and standing in support of awareness for an important cause: parental alienation. I was alienated from my father as a child and do not want any other child to experience separation from a worthy and loving parent! Alright? Armor up and let’s begin the fight for your life!