16 years ago tonight a single harpist played as I walked up the church aisle in front of family and friends on a bitter cold Friday. The church was still beautifully decorated for Christmas. Greenery and poinsettias, red and cream, crowded the area surrounding the alter.
I was full of joy.
I said, I do. He must have said something else. Like, I sorta do. And from that moment on, his words mattered more to me than the words of anyone else.
That’s not going to change overnight.
It’s been a year since The Genius and I parted ways. A year. I would have thought that was long enough to break the habit of allowing his words to mean something to me, but I’m still wired to react to them. Given that wiring job was faulty, the reaction isn’t exactly a healthy one. I don’t react to the name-calling and immature button pushing. That’s easy to blow off now. But the more subtle exchanges have a way of sneaking inside, like they have a right to be there, high fiving my subconscious, acting like they own the place. As I focus on another task or read to the dudes, those words come out and start planting seeds of doubt, fear, dis-ease.
Several months ago, you will recall, I was a spoiled brat who was not entitled to live in the house we bought as a married couple. Time to get up and out! Move along! For a laugh, I remind myself that if I hadn’t caught him with his hand in the Happy Dance jar, we’d still be living here – in a house I am not entitled to live in.
A few months later, when I expressed my desire to attempt to sell the house on my own, my strategy was questioned. Or my sanity. Whatever.
So, I buckled down and focused on getting the house ready to sell. Out came the boxes that carried our belongings west. Purge. Pack. Clean. Stage. And by stage, I mean remove all Legos from underfoot and make it appear as if I lounge around listening to smooth jazz all day while reading enlightening books and nibbling on pears.
Mr. Jackpot was kind enough to make a few repairs that were beyond my abilities. Repairs generally, as in all the time, fall into that category. He also trimmed the fruit trees. But he had to depart for more pressing matters, so I grouted and spackled, lugged tree branches to the curb, weeded the walkways, washed the windows, which of course meant arachnid removal – done gently, eyes squinting to make them a little blurry, thereby less scary. I stood as far back as possible as I swept the gutters in the event that one would fly directly at my face, arms wide and latch onto my wrinkled nose.
Dead and frozen spiders are known to do that.
Although the one that was in my bathing suit when I put it on yesterday wasn’t dead. And it was scary. Mainly because it was in my bathing suit. I was talking to Razzle on the phone – she is as frightened by them as I was – and as soon as I saw it race across the inside of the torso I tossed the phone in the air, ripped my legs out and threw the suit hard as I fell back to the floor. It was as if I had grabbed the arms of an intruder from around my neck and flung him against the wall a la Jackie Chan before crumpling to the floor like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.
Then I got the broom.
I beat the crap out of it and my suit.
Trust me, you would have over-killed that multi-legged pervert, too.
I didn’t have to tell Razzle what had happened when I retrieved the phone from under the counter. Like any experienced arachnophobe, she could tell by the yelp that it was a spider invasion issue.
Nice job, Rambo.
An hour later I worked up the courage to look inside my bathing suit. I had amputated each leg and burst its body. I picked it out with a wad of paper towel and washed the suit instead of throwing it in the garbage. Now that’s progress!
A few days after Christmas I receive a call from a friend who knew of a couple looking for a house. I stayed up till 4AM to get everything just right for their morning arrival. It didn’t go anywhere, but it was the incentive I needed to finish the last of the main prep and put her on the market. So up she went. And in came the calls. Some serious, some curious. One family of four came and stayed for 90 minutes. We had a blast. The children ran through the house, laughing, locking the interior knobs of the bedroom doors and then shutting them so they would have to crawl through the windows to unlock them. Typical Mom’s not looking stuff.
Later that evening they sent an email saying their children thought it was the best ‘open house’ ever and they would like to make an offer later in the week after reviewing the inspection report.
Job well done, right?
Nah.
Now I’m making rash decisions. Is it really best to sell right now?
So, let me recap: You’re not entitled to live in that house. You’re not selling the house the right way. Is it really smart to be selling the house?
Madness.
But unfortunately the impact doesn’t stop there. A couple hours after receiving the Let’s discuss this before you make any rash decisions text, I started to feel uneasy. Concerned. Filled with doubt. But I couldn’t place the origin.
The house will sell. Eventually. I might even have to utilize a real estate agent. I’ll evaluate that when the time comes. But it’s going to sell, and it won’t take too long.
We’ll find a place to live. Eventually. One that allows dogs over 20 pounds. Mine would have to lose 70 to pass the cutoff. If I made that happen, I’d have a house alright. With bars.
How am I going to figure out how to make enough noise to get noticed in a sea of books that could cover all the visible land on the planet? I’m not sure yet, but I’m working on it. The solution will likely involve making a great deal of magic happen, which is why I’m really upping the game for me and my top hat with a renewed focus on creation.
Making my own magic.
I’m okay with where my life is at right now, and I’m really proud of what I have been able to accomplish over this last year. The dudes and I are really connecting. There’s no drastic upheaval, but lots of uncertainty. Still, nothing I hadn’t expected. So why the out of the blue concern? The fresh downpour of doubt? Nerves like summer lightening?
It’s because of the words.
The words themselves aren’t interesting. But the you can, you can’t, you can pattern is worth noting. Because I still unconsciously give weight to what The Genius says – his words – its no surprise this lesson would come through him.
Yachats.
You can go, you can’t go, you can go.
The house.
You must, You can’t, You shouldn’t be.
Our marriage.
You are, She is, You never were.
It’s like planting bamboo. Just like that, I’m a rain forest of doubt.
This is an example of something that I would not be conscious of while we were married. I was never good at tying things together, seeing a pattern and the reason for it. But this time it clicked. This was a pattern.
The night I put those three different messages about the house sale together my Mom called me at 1AM EST. She keeps California hours while living back East these days, staying up late to play solitaire on her iPad. She kills me.
I wasn’t my chipper, storytelling self on the call. The blue feelings of doubt left me wanting to retreat, just be alone. And not think about all that I might fail at.
When I told her about the three different takes on the house sale and how they made me feel uneasy she said, As your grandmother would say, consider the source.
Yes, and stop trying to understand why. I don’t need to know why he says something, I just have to recognize the pattern and look to understand why I am creating the experience for myself. Every time we interact we are each creating the experience we need to have in order to learn. The lesson for each is different.
Tonight, I finally learned my lesson. To not be in a position where The Genius can tell me what to do. To recognize how much I dislike being told what to do by him. While disliking it isn’t the important issue (I need to be indifferent.), feeling that twist of my stomach and knowing it comes from him telling me what to do and not from any real reason to doubt my own abilities to make sound choices is key. What’s most important is that I learn to not wait for anyone to tell me what to do. Trust in my own smarts and intuition and carry out my plans.
I have to break this habit.
Do not let others create self-doubt by making me think I’m incapable. If I allow that I am missing the point, misinterpreting the purpose of their actions or words. If I feel doubts, find their origin, their reason for existing.
Gathering input, seeking guidance, asking for help – I’m all for that. But being told what to do next isn’t going to lead me through my vision board. Although it’s a very comfortable place for me to be, and it helps to direct me and my Medusa of a brain, from this point forth I need to continue to make decisions, implement them, seek help, adjust as necessary, all on my own.
Today, the offer I was expecting was put on hold. They found another house that is a better fit and are in negotiations. Doubt remained at bay. It’s only been on the market a week. The actual disappearance of an offer didn’t leave me nervous or concerned. I accepted it as one no closer to yes.
Just like I was trained to do when I was in sales.
It’s a daunting task to rewire, to undo how we’ve been trained. Like untangling a thin necklace that’s been jostled in the bottom of a purse for days. While I work on the wires, I am going to take the time to let myself know I believe in me. I need pep talks regularly, but I do believe. A big reason why these days is because of my self-awareness. Now that I love myself, I look at myself, see and feel what’s happening, note connections between words, intent, patterns in others, my own patterns. I am aware. I remember more. I can see the thread that links words, actions and encounters together.
Messages sent several weeks apart come together to provide an opportunity to grow, not create fear. Draw the connections and keep things in perspective. I’m grateful for the you can, you can’t, you can of The Genius. I feel like it was a complicated puzzle I just solved all on my own without a box top to look at for clues, or anybody telling me what to do next.
Sounds, patterns… The new moon is on Friday the 11th, at this late hour that is now today. This new moon is all about the senses, especially hearing. I’ll be weaving back in a focus on the senses to my ever-changing pull down menu of s…tuff to integrate. It’s a perfect weekend to tune into nature, albeit freezing! 18 miles on Mt. Tam and dinner in Stinson Beach with family.
I’m certain I’ll see lots of familiar faces. Hopefully a new teacher will emerge. I’d like to retire one of my faculty members.
Love yourself,
Cleo
S,
We’ll see…that’s great. As long as it serves them, right. I’ve learned my lesson, S. I won’t be used again, so at least I got that out of the way!
Out of all the days since the Pocket Call, today is the day where I am seriously mad at me for having such poor judgment 16 years ago. Blech. I need to sage myself.
Thank you for the encouragement. It’s very needed, and I promise to put it to good use! You rock. I rock. You know what that means – BAND! (I just came up with a ridiculously funny name in my head based on the two words I dislike most but can’t bring myself to type it. For those who follow HGM closely I bet you all know what it is! I’m laughing hard internally right now.) Thank you for being here.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Dear Cleo…
It’s been a while since I posted here, probably since the beginning of your blog writing. But I’ve been reading… faithfully… and I guess, waiting for something to scream at me to comment again. Thanks for writing about the Genius and your house again. Like you, I spent months and months purging, fixing and cleaning my house last year. You see, myhusband and I both agreed that our split would be easier with the house sold. We both agreed that we could tackle this final thing together. So I dove in, and he disappeared. Oh, he still came home every day, but he donned his invisibility cloak when help was needed and became paralyzed when he came to dealing with even his own stuff. Worse still, his famous Realtor parents (who ended up listing the house) were also a no-show when it came to decluttering and staging so I did that, too.
So when the house was under contract in four days, I breathed a sign of relief and cried. Then I marked all the items in the house with “mine,” “yours” and “to be sold.” I hired a estate sales lady to come in and sell the “to be sold” items and she did.I cried some more. I remember standing on my driveway with my best friend after we spent the day packing up the last remaining rooms in the house. I was crying and she asked why I was crying when I had accomplished so much on my own over six months. I told her I felt like my life over the last seven years was finally coming full circle: We had bought the house when he started his affair… we renovated every room as our marriage broke down… and now it was sold and wasn’t mine anymore. Isn’t all of that something to cry over? Absolutely not, she told me… You’re going to be just fine. A week later, I moved five hours away with our children to start a new life.
Cleo, I know you may not have the connection to your house that I did with mine, but I’m still happy for you that it’s on the market and eventually it will be sold. When you’re in your new place with your boys, the Genius’s words won’t have as much impact as they do now. Some may still matter; some words regarding the boys may still get a response. But he will then be talking to you in a world that you have created and own. And I can tell you, from the current view on my own hill overlooking a river, that it’s a great place to be.
Susan
S,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I really needed to read your words tonight. I’m feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, questioning my ability to pull it off. But all will get done, and with each success will come great relief. I’m looking forward to being free of any attachment to my marriage. Selling the house and finalizing the divorce are two priorities for me. When accomplished I will celebrate with a massive hike, a dozen BBQ oysters and a glass of Cab Franc.
“And I can tell you, from the current view on my own hill overlooking a river, that it’s a great place to be.” Thank you for motivation – I want to be toasting you from across the way!
So grateful to have you here, S.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Dear, dear Cleo — go back and read — out loud is even better! — your Jan. 1 post, “Love Yourself.” As you’ve said yourself, if you’re really loving and trusting yourself, there’s no room for seeds of doubt to be planted by others, even others who are “under your skin” the way the Genius of course is after your years of marriage and your love for him. And be proud of yourself for being in a position to write that Jan. 1 post — it’s a huge achievement, to have gotten yourself to the place you are in just a year from your world imploding. You ROCK! You are a GODDESS! You’re our HERO! (I’ve never much liked the word “heroine,” aside from sounding like a very unhealthy drug it also somehow sounds to me like a diminutive of a hero — and who wants to be a pint-sized version of larger-than-life?)
Huge congrats on getting your house on the market — what a giant feat to accomplish esp while living there with two little boys! I look around my house, inhabited by me and 2 boys who are just a year or so younger than yours, and think, “How in h@#$ would I possibly get this house in shape to sell? No way!!!” I bet the G is ambivalent about selling — it was supposed to be his dream house too, even though he was betraying that dream all along — as well as his ongoing problem of somehow always needing to undermine whatever you’re doing. But you know that, and you know to block it out and move forward.
I know whatever you SHOULD be doing now, you WILL be doing as long as you follow your own brilliant advice and
LOVE YOURSELF!
Phyllis
P,
First, thank you for the advice. Absolutely taken. You rock.
And thank you for the kind words of support. It’s been a challenging few days. Lots of tears, partly chalked up to my first period in five months! TMI, but hey, that’s not the first time, right?
Your words made me realize that I allow The Genius’ words to discount all that I have accomplished. The only accomplishment he seeks from me is to get a job. Since the one I’ve chosen, writer, is not his choice, he belittles that, too.
I allow his words to make me question myself. Now if that’s not an example of the mind going all bat crazy, I don’t know what is. I must stay true to myself, love myself and believe in myself. Thank you for reminding me and for supporting me as I teeter and totter along my journey.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Cleo, I’m in the same boat. In fact it’s funny, this post has a something you have written before and I saved. I have about 7 of your Chloe-isms saved on a document that I look at from time to time. This is the first one I saved:
**I am wired to give more weight to the opinion of The Genius than that of a multitude of other people. And that is completely ludicrous. It actually makes me sad. Even though I know his opinion is skewed by his own emotions surrounding his infidelity, I believe his words, on a deep, unconscious level.**
I still battle with this one, too. My CH (cheating husband) can cut to my core like no one else. But like you said, it’s re-training ourselves to not believe their own way of cutting us down. Look how far we’ve come already. Keep rewiring. Don’t despair about that family not taking the house. The right person(s) will come upon it very soon, I am sure – when the universe says the time is right for you. xoxo thanks for all you do.
H,
Thank you so much for these words of support. I’m feeling so raw today. Exposed wires, I suppose.
So we get a little braver, a little more vulnerable, opening to the pain so that it may drift on its way. Nerves to butterflies…
I’m grateful you are here.
Love yourself,
Cleo
thank you, cleo, for another brilliant and perfect post! i’ve been meaning to write for so long but have never known where to begin. i only found you and the kittens a few months ago and have felt so relieved, among other things. i’m a pretty private person in general and have never participated in any forum or blog until now. so here goes. i truly believe it was “meant to be” that i found you and your blog. i am a year older than you and also a lover of nature and feeling physically strong and fit. i have a pretty similar story to yours…uncovering the double life of five years of my husband after spending my pregnancy alone in california while he was “working” in another country. we have a nearly four year old precious (ginger!) girl together. her conception coincides with the beginning of his secret life. i discovered his secret over a year ago after countless lies on his behalf and begging for the truth sessions from me. so now i know the truth yet i’m still living with him in a country where i don’t fit in. i’m working on an escape plan but lack the money and courage to make it happen. i keep reminding myself that i deserve more. i can physically feel the sadness of my heart and mouth. the bottom half of my face has seriously atrophied. i used to be known for my smile and laugh. i miss this part of myself. thanks for your strength and inspiration! xox
S,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and for being here. It’s late in chilly Marin, and Mt. Tam awaits in the morning. Many comments are in the queue. But yours must be answered tonight because my smile disappeared, too.
I recognized this in July of last year when I swam from Alcatraz to shore. At the post swim brunch we took many photos, congratulating each other, so full of excitement and pride from our achievement. At one point a man in our group said in passing, You have the best smile. Less than two weeks prior, when I stood on the summit of Mt. Whitney, the man who took a photo of Razzle and me said, Now that’s a million dollar smile.
I’m used to the hair compliments, a benefit of being a ginger, but no one has ever complimented my smile in such a spontaneous, enthusiastic way. This is the power of healthy, pure joy – a man is looking at two women who have been hiking for 8 hours in some pretty challenging conditions, and then beyond to a surreal view of granite peaks, upon peaks, upon peaks. He’s wiped out. They ask him to take a picture. We’re all walking around in an altitude-induced stupor. 360 degrees of Oh, my God! surround us.
And he compliments my smile. That has nothing to do with my face, or the shape of my mouth, or my teeth, or the eyes that sparkle when squeezed by cheeks. That smile is all about energy. The energy that comes from taking on a great challenge and succeeding.
I wasn’t known for my smile and now I am. You were known for yours and now you will be again. Nature is free. Immerse yourself in her. I guarantee she will take care of you, educate you and amuse you. You are already courageous. That takes a lot of energy. To balance that effort, be sure to look for and create magic. Each day is brimming with opportunities for you. Magic will insure a broad smile. Stay close…
Love yourself,
Cleo
thank you, cleo. you made me smile;) unfortunately, i’m living in a huge polluted city where the air quality index is literally off the charts so nature and outdoor activity are rare. i have been making it to a gym whenever possible where i get on the elliptical at a crazy challenging incline and close my eyes while picturing my favorite nature spots and the life i really want. i do believe in magic and it finds me in my dreams. sweet, uplifting messages reminding me of who i am and what really matters. and in real life, the magic(my daughter) is right by my side all the time. thanks for caring. xox
sunnydaysahead, I felt so sad when I read this, but then I realized (a la Cleo) what a beautiful opportunity this is for an encounter. I’m not sure what country you are in, but if you are in snowy Winnipeg, please let me know. I know some great cross-country ski trails that I’d love to show you and help bring back that smile!
And if you are not close by, know that whereever you are, I am sending thoughts of strength and joy to you. You are not alone!
N
N,
Oh! Dream come true. Kittens gathering near and far in pursuit of adventures, love and magic. N, you have made my day. Which is saying a lot because Tam was pure magic today. Rich blue sky, frothy marine layer at the horizon, ice on the top of the mountain! And then to read you so graciously inviting another to spend time with you in nature. My goodness, that is simply a perfect ending to a perfect day. You are a goddess. And I love you both.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Love love love this!!! Cleo Kittens rule.
L,
Yes, they sure do. Rock on.
Love yourself,
Cleo
hi nicole! thanks for the invitation and your sweet thoughts. i wish i was in winnipeg to take you up on the offer. i have only been cross-country skiing twice but loved it so much despite the fact that i could barely walk the next day. who knows where i’ll end up…if it’s winnipeg, we have a date. thank you! xox
Cleo, your grandmother’s advice is spot on: ALWAYS consider the source ! The Genius’ ‘instructions to you’ as well as being a trigger for more internal growth for you, are really a good insight into what is going on with him and his uncertainty that HE really wants to move on. It was you that upset his life, he was happy (? ! ?) with it as it was prior to the Pocket Call and now you have taken control of your life and are moving on without him; he in contrast is playing stuck in the mud with his own emotions and life, and that isn’t your problem or responsibility despite him trying to drag you into his pool of mud. Sell the house and get your own home that isn’t infected by TG and to which he has no access. Those of us that have been in tough positions re forced moves can reassure you, even though it won’t match the picture in your head, the perfect place will appear at the perfect time, have no doubt.
R,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and lend your support and wisdom. Consider the source. That piece of wisdom will help me sleep well tonight as I am yet again dealing with texts telling me what to do. I’ve decided from now on that if the text does not start with The children, I am not reading it.
I CANNOT WAIT until the house sells! As long as the home we move to can fit us and the animals I am going to be ridiculously happy. Each step I take is one that puts more distance between The Genius and me and that is exactly what needs to happen.
My focus needs to be here, helping those who are fighting to remain whole after they’ve been ripped apart by betrayal. It’s where my heart is, and it’s what I need to do. Thank you for helping to keep me centered on that most important mission. I am so grateful to have you here at HGM.
Love yourself,
Cleo
I thought in the beginning I found your blog by happenstance. I soon realized it was truly a God thing! I have been divorced for a little over 6 months and the pain is still very evident in my heart! I was married for over 25 years only to find out “my genius” was a lying (*&(*&^ as well. I am lost but trying to move forward. It is so very hard – trying to find out WHO you are! I have always been a wife and mother and now I find myself -not knowing anything!
Thank you for sharing your soul with the world! Through your words I am learning to heal and be strong….
F,
I am so psyched you found HGM. You were meant to be where you are right now. Knowing nothing is equal to a clean slate – it’s all in how you perceive it. Which is not a rah-rah statement. It’s reality. Thoughts become things. How you view something, how you label it, how you meet it determines how it all plays out. Knowing nothing can mean no preconceived ideas and that’s very good.
Drop everything you’ve ever known. See it all again for the first time. All the pain and hurt doesn’t have to vanish until it’s ready. But it can sit on the sidelines while you take some time to enjoy being on this planet at truly the most perfect time in the history of the Universe. That’s like being front row for your favorite stadium band. For me, U2. You don’t half-ass that experience, right? So let’s let it rip with this one. Life. Best front row seat ever.
Stay close…
Love yourself,
Cleo
PS – there are some amazing ideas for getting to know yourself within HGM. Boundaries, needs and the Observer Self are all super helpful for discovering what’s necessary for you to be happy.
Wow, Cleo! I love, love this post. I so relate to being wired to react to my former husbands tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. Even now, almost 9 months after the divorce, I feel myself tensing up when I see the eye roll or his impatient, frustrated reaction to something I’ve said. When I witness these reactions, I am so glad he drives away, and it is no longer my problem! As time goes by, I am receiving the gift of perspective. I am slowly rewiring to feel ambivalent in dealing with my Genius. I am feeling the stress of my old life dissipate. I love knowing I create the tone and happiness in my home. Thanks for your nuggets of widsom and for helping me get excited to figure out my new life! All my best!
L,
Thank you so much for your kind words. And the sage guidance for dealing with our wired selves. I will celebrate the day when all ties are cut with The Genius and I am free to live my life. I am so grateful that I can come here and draw on the support you all so graciously give me.
You enthusiasm for creating your new life has lifted my spirits on a day when I really needed it. Thank you, love you, owe you.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Oh Cleo. I just read this post. My heart aches for you, but only briefly. Because I know you have perspective and I know you can create your own magic. Keep writing. We are here cheering you on. <3
L,
Thank you, L, for taking the time to comment and let me know you are cheering me on. It’s been a tumultuous few days, which only means that a transformation is taking place. I’m able to remain centered thanks to the support of all of you furballs. You rock.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Hi cleo
What is wrong with him? Are you sure he’s in his 40s, i know guys in their late teens who are much more consistent than that.
And here is another one of my awesome quotes (i love them!).
The best years if your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You take control of your own destiny.
And it seems like those years are here
K,
Personal responsibility! I teach that to the dudes daily. Finger pointing robs one of the opportunity to grow. We here are growing! And I am so very glad you are doing it with me. Thank you.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Cleo, it’s amazing how your life parallels that of so many “kittens” here. (BTW, I love how you call us kittens, because I’m a rabid cat/kitten lover.)
I’m not at the point you are, selling your house. But I do need to sell mine (and got a market analysis recently), because the exterior paint has been peeling rapidly (and I have no money to paint or side it). I need to sell it before it gets to the point that it’s not sellable because it’s falling down. At the same time, I love ‘this ole’ house” and want to stay here. It’s the first house I’ver ever owned, after moving from rental to rental about 15 times while married to my Genius. I love houses and architecture in general, but he was never enthusiastic about having a house–I’m the one who got us to the point of buying it because I was tired of constantly having to move because of capricious landlords and awful upstairs/downstairs/next door neighbors in rental units. My musician Genius is not a “handyman,” so anything that needed fixing was done by me (very minor repairs) or just didn’t get done because of no $. At the same time, it seems that selling/moving to a rental would be a good way to get away from the memories. However, although I do want to purge bad memories of him (even though there are some happy ones), there are happy memories of our daughter (who is almost 30 now).
I’m tearing up right now.
And he’s there in San Francisco (and so is our daughter, because her east coast employer transferred her there in 2010). And it’s all so heart-wrenching.
Thank you, Cleo, for being there for us.
N,
Those memories are woven into your being and will travel with you forever – the good and the not so good. The not so good ones will serve to highlight what feels good for you.
You love the house and want to stay there, but I bet you need to be somewhere else. For all the magical right reasons. Go where you need to be. Do what you need to do. I believe in you! And am so grateful you are here.
Let out the tears and let in the love that you so deserve. You rock, N.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Thank you, dear Cleo. Your reply helps a lot!
N,
Always here for you, N. When we’re rocking in our chairs on the front porch of our twilight years we will be able to reflect back on these times and honor ourselves for being graceful and optimistic, searching for magic and thanking the universe for our many blessings with laughter.
Love yourself,
Cleo