Upon reaching the Trail Crest, Razzle and I dropped our packs to forge ahead unencumbered by the weight of water, protein bars, WAG bags (unused) and salami. It’s the little things that matter at 14,000 feet, and dropping the packs was a sweet feeling, a sign that we were almost to the summit.
Almost.
She may not mean to be, but Mt. Whitney is a tease. She hides her summit when you’re on her shoulders, letting you think you’re almost there when you still have so far to go. I’ve felt that way for the last several months. As you’ve all so gently pointed out to me, with every victory I still need to be conscious of the length of this journey I am on. It’s for life. It’s a journey with no definable end. Which is why it’s so crucial to remain in the moment. There will be no time where anything is certain, where all the cards are dealt. I find beauty in that now.
Even though we could see people making the last turn for her rounded edge thrusting out over the valley below, we weren’t assured of ever stepping on the top of the lower 48. Since embarking on the trail in the dark of night I never took for granted that I would reach her crown. It wasn’t until we started passing people who cheered us on that I felt I could be fortunate enough to sign her ledger, marking in time my achievement.
The altitude sickness had softened, but it was still there, reminding me that at any time it could surge. We remained in the zone. 100 feet apart on a trail of boulders and slabs and rubble, surrounded by the fierceness of the blue marble. Every 20 feet or so I would pick up my head and attempt to absorb the flashy beauty rolled out beneath us. As I plotted my way along her collar bone I felt the power of the planet and came to understand fully that I am merely renting space here, but she is forever. She is formidable, and I was humbled. Spent, on one level. Re-birthed on another.
Her collar bone led to her neck, another ascent, which led to the wide plateau with still an up-slope, dotted at the top by the cabin we had all seen in pictures but was hidden from view by her crown. Visible only to those who took the time to climb her. As I s l o w l y pulled the granite behind me with each step, I thought of the barefoot shiatsu massage I received from Mary on my 15 year wedding anniversary at the Fairmont Sonoma. I’m certain that all the steps of all the hikers that made time in their busy lives to spend a moment in awe felt just as good to Whitney as my shiatsu did to me. I could almost hear her purr.
I have butterflies writing this…
300 yards from the summit I came upon a group of six hikers descending from the peak. They glowed. Their smiles broad, their eyes lit up, they beamed achievement. That beautiful feeling of having set out to do something and nailed it. They paused to cheer me on, with one man, a tall, blue-eyed, rugged beauty standing directly in front of me. I looked up at him and said,
You know, I think I’m done. I’m gonna head down. She beat me.
I turned to walk away, laughing discreetly.
You don’t seem like that kind of girl.
I paused. Closed my eyes and smiled.
He’s right, I’m not.
We turned to each other and belly laughed. As much as one can belly laugh at 14,400 feet. Winded, we hugged and went on our way.
That, kittens, is a perfect encounter.
I live for that.
Razzle, being the lady that she is, waited patiently for me to catch up. We finished the climb together. We hugged, we laughed, we moved slowly and gingerly, and we probably both thought at least once about the 11 mile descent that was to begin in about 15 minutes. Even with that thought in the back of my mind, my smile was so big it threatened to topple me over. I think I might have even looked a little crazy. I was just blown apart with joy.
There were about 15 people on the summit when we arrived. Mainly guys in their 20s and 30s, and a family of four we had seen earlier on the trail. Bolted to the side of the rock shack was a large but shallow metal box that contained the book we had the honor of signing to commemorate our climb of the tallest mountain in the lower 48. A half dozen people gathered around, some debating whether or not to sign, as if it was cooler to summit and not sign, like it’s cooler to not wear a wet suit when swimming in the bay.
If that is so, I’m proudly not cool.
My hands were cold. I didn’t know if I could hold the pen. I was definitely tipsy with adrenaline and the affects of the altitude. While I wasn’t crying, I felt like tears were shedding from every pore. If I shook my arms back, I would send a spray of joy in the shape of wings to the sky. I waited a moment to sign the book and admired the smiles that adorned the faces of a small group of people who could say, We made it.
It was my turn. I clumsily held the pen. My writing speed was cut in half. I signed Cleo…
And then I wrote my maiden name.
In the blank space next to name and city, where people express what they may, I wrote:
Grateful.
And then I cried.
We moved away from the cabin and approached the western most tip of her crown. Razzle asked a fellow hiker to take our picture. He captured a photo of us that I so wish I could share with you. We stood side by side, with the valley and the peaks in the west behind us. From the sky Whitney’s peak is a smile; a full on I am thoroughly to my root happy smile. So it’s no wonder that it’s impossible to do anything else but smile while you are there.
As he pressed the button to take the picture I felt myself surge with joy. This was the moment I had trained for, a celebration of how far I had come on my journey. I can say I have never, ever smiled so broadly. The only other time I smiled like that was on my wedding day. I didn’t think of that then – no shocker there – but I’m glad I made the connection now. On my wedding day I smiled with joy and thoughts of a beautiful future, and on Whitney’s peak I felt the very same thing. Only this time my feelings of joy and optimism came from within me, nurtured by nature.
Not because of another person but because of a mountain. A mountain that will always be there for me long after I am gone.
As the hiker handed Razzle her camera, a man to my right said,
Now that was a million dollar smile.
I nodded in agreement.
It’s the best I could do for a priceless view.
We smiled, saying without words, Nicely done.
I noticed a climber on his cell phone as I turned to look west.
Wow. I don’t get cell service at my house but he gets it here?
I pulled out my phone and sure enough I had 2 bars. I had to call my mom.
Now, I am certain there were hard core peak etiquette practitioners on the mountain, but I didn’t care. If I ruined someone’s moment because of a 2 minute call to a remarkable woman who encourages me, roots for me, guides me and loves me unconditionally, well, they need to chill out a bit. It’s not the end of the world, it’s the top of the continental US. I got caught up in the moment and wanted my mom, who walks with me everywhere I go, to be with me on Whitney.
She was thrilled to receive my call. That’s a moment I will always remember.
A moment shared between the two of us that will forever evoke feelings of pure bliss.
I cannot say the same for the descent.
And by no means can I say the same for thing for what awaited me upon my arrival home.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Wow! Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment!!!
T,
Thank you! Grateful, grateful, grateful…
Love yourself,
Cleo
Lovely post. I have to say these last few about your summit have been a delight to read and my top favourites. I think that is because they show so clearly how much you have grown, while acknowledging your journey does not have a summit like Mt.Whitney. It is pretty powerful and inspiring for those of us facing our own journey.
I recall you saying in a previous post (quite a while back) that you are living and working towards this path everyday and that the continuous feedback from this space is helping you immensely. I wanted to take the time to say THANK YOU. By sharing yourself so completely, honestly, and lovingly I can say you have helped at least one other person (and probably many many more) on their journey. While my issues are not even distant cousins to yours the lessons and wisdom here are universal and I look forward to every notice in my inbox that says to me “Cleo has something else wonderful to share so get ready!”.
M,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so very glad you took the time to comment. These past few posts have been challenging to write because I don’t feel capable of capturing the experience the way I would like. Hopefully I have taken you there to some degree.
I also was feeling like I was missing the mark because of the low comments. While on the ascent I really was so focused on working with the mountain and the altitude in an effort to summit that I did no excavation on myself. While writing this post I wondered if that was a disappointment for some. Or not helpful.
…somebody please explain to me why I am crying right now…
The highs and lows of these past few weeks have given me much to ponder. Such awesome personal achievements, so much love shared between me and the boys, so many amazing encounters, and dealing with those that resent all that. The timing of it all shows me that nature is my guardian.
I am so grateful for your words, M. Your timing is as perfect as could be. Thank you.
Love yourself,
Cleo
I can’t say why others have not been posting as much. I know for myself the summer messes with my normal schedule. You could find that come September when people’s lives get back into a regular routine you might get more feedback.
Right now I think you are right to focus on your lessons and know that we are your cheerleaders even if you cannot hear us.
M,
Thank you. I can feel you. Tonight I will sit under the stars and think of all the kittens. My gratitude and wishes for nothing but pure blissed out joy will be coming your way.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Re: “He captured a photo of us that I so wish I could share with you”.
Why not take two photos next time. One from the front for you to enjoy, and one photo (for public consumption) of you and Miss Razzle from the back? It could be a theme on your blog!
Kudos to you for finding the push to get to the top of the mountain
O,
Ah, but it’s the face you must see, the smile. I have other pictures to post, and am particularly find of the one Razzle took of me at Chicken Spring Lake. I’m so glad I can share them with you. Much more fun and intimate than Google images, no?
Thank you for being here, O. And for taking the time to comment.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Congratulations on your amazing achievement. Can we see your smile, at least?
I hope someday to do something amazing and powerful like that, too. I hope that you are inspired and full of strength for whatever is on your plate right now.
L,
Imagine a smile that exceeds the space allotted to it by the face. A smile that can’t be contained. A smile that comes from deep inside and can only be represented fractionally by the mouth. That was my smile. I won’t ever forget what it felt like, and I’ve been repeating it often.
Nature has filled me up. I am eternally grateful. Thank you so much for your kind words. And for being here. I can’t wait to hear about your amazing and powerful experience. I know there’s one out there just waiting for you.
Love yourself,
Cleo
I’m 50. Today I ran. First time in 25 years.
I’ve followed your journey since TPC, with something akin to nausea and awe. If you can do this while wading through your alternating nightmares and dreams, then I can run.
So despite the barrage of health issues I’ve faced over the past 12 months, I put on my shoes and ran. Then walked. Then ran. I’m not sure who will get me out of bed tomorrow, but I’ll face that when it comes because today? Today I ran.
Thank you.
B,
You goddess! Congratulations!! Your words brought me to tears. I can feel your strength and it motivates me. My climb of Whitney and swim of the bay (I cannot wait to tell you all about it!) have been instrumental in my healing, my growth, and my quest for balance and joy. (The Genius says they’re adventures and hobbies…how shallow.) I trust that running (I totally cannot run. I’m in awe of you.) will be as soothing to your soul as climbing and swimming is to mine. Should you be sore tomorrow just know that it’s your muscles thanking you for waking them.
Do not hesitate to come here for a ‘You go, girl!’ anytime you need it. We must take care of our bodies, regardless of the state they are in. Self-care, self-love = dreams realized. I am so proud of you! Stay close…
Love yourself,
Cleo
R,
Oh. Thank you so much for sharing your words. I really appreciate that you took the time to comment. Today was a perfect day to feel your support. And feel it I did!
…“in gentleness and grace, I will find calm and strength.” If that isn’t eloquent, and melodic, I’m a hairy arachnid.
You used the word ‘embrace’ to describe how I am dealing with the challenges that are knocking at my door. Spot on, m’lady. I hadn’t looked at it like that before, but I am embracing them. Which disarms them so we can sit together and figure each other out. For a tough Swede I still have to work on the gentle part. I’m enjoying the process of nurturing that trait.
To borrow a line from you…Thank you for being here. I’m deeply happy to know that you are here.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Hi Cleo! I am a long time reader and one time commenter. I check in daily to get your next installment of amazingness. Pretty sure that’s not a real word but it was the best descriptor for you and your blog. I have a feeling that there haven’t been as many comments because you have been describing things that we all can relate to metaphorically but that we can’t all relate to physically. As great as what you’re doing is, it felt a little unnecessary to say, ” Way to go, Cleo!”
M,
I’m all about making up words that sound like how I feel. Is that at all grammatically correct? Pft. Who cares. You all get it, and by now my AP English teacher is long gone into the heavens so I don’t have to worry about him slamming his cane on the desk in front of me.
I almost don’t think I can relate to what I experienced on Mt. Whitney. Truly, it’s very hard to believe that what I saw was real. And that’s just Whitney, no offense beautiful lady. Can you imagine Everest?
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your honesty. And I agree with you. Unnecessary. But if my words aren’t making sense I hope you will let me know. Stay close…I’m so grateful you are here. Thank you, love you, owe you.
Love yourself,
Cleo
M,
Thank you so much. I wish you could see me right now. I don’t have to explain to you…
So grateful, m’lady. That you walk with me is appreciated as well.
Love yourself,
Cleo
What a fantastic journey Cleo! Congratulations! Your summit and training are an inspiration.
I’ve been following your blog, as have friends, for a month now. I think I read from start to finish in 2 days I was so drawn in after finding it. I have laughed, cheered, and cried reading the log. I’m in a similar situation, close in age, marriage length and ending time, infidelity revelations, young children, and my very own ” genius.” Reading your writing about your experience and approach to moving forward, helped me turn the corner. Something clicked for me after reading your first five entries.. That “wait a minute….” moment.
Yes, I am still in shock at times, and the children grieve, but I have hope now in a new way. I still have major days of “did this just happen?” and “how did I miss this?” and “I am a fool”…. but I now believe better things await me and my children. I feel it deep down.
Thanks for sharing this with the rest of us! And congratulations again!
Caitlin
C,
I feel it for you, too! And it’s how I feel about myself as well.
The children…that’s where my heart hurts. But, like you, I believe better things await them, too. They will continue to be loved, and I have never been more motivated to be the most present Mom I can be for them. So that, even in light of the turmoil around them, they will look back on their childhood fondly. I want them to be relaxed, happy, curious, joyful, secure and rested. Well fed, too.
…“did this just happen?” I know! It’s been 11 months since the Pocket Call. That’s bat crazy. 11 months. I’m so grateful I got right on it when it happened. I’ve covered a lot of ground in 11 months, with the support of my family and all of you. It’s been an amazing part of my journey. I believe we are all making a massive difference in each others’ lives.
I’m so glad you found HGM. Thank you so much for your kind words.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Is it ok for me to reply to your reply? Not sure about blog etiquette. I wanted to ask for your thoughts on two things – if ok:
Bat crazy indeed! From the day I found about the affair, to our divorce being finalized was about 8 months….. Tsunami style! I tried to slow it down at first, I could barely keep up with the life changes and my ex’s seeming constant morphing. Some of the things that occurred in those 8 months…i mean crazy train.
But, I finally woke up to the reality that there was nothing there. I just read something that goes with this in a book by Terry Fralich: reality*resistance = suffering. So true..I fought so hard and tried to problem solve, etc. until I realized that my energy did not belong there. My kids needed me for one, and my health was starting to suffer. So i think I am mainly off the train, but I am still struggling with this deep fear that most of my marriage was a lie, or that I don’t know what was real.
Do you ever experience this fear? I’ve learned some things that point to this being true in my case..I almost cannot get my head around it. I need Botox just thinking about it- like that photo in your blog of the stunned woman;) i wondered if you had a way of dealing with that fear or post hoc analysis ? IF this comes up for you, which I don’t know if it does of course.
Which brings me to why I am really writing
!!!! The children! I really want the things you expressed for your kids, peace, joy, security. In my situation their Dad is not acting like the Dad he was before, in the present moment at least. So it’s like really really critical I keep it together for them , because they really need at least one strong parent. They are really hurting.
So my other question was, have you done anything in particular to help you stay Present for them? Or to keep yourself grounded and not distracted by the whirlwind when you are with them? I am not sure what I am asking exactly here, but I am trying to soak up any advice I can on what might help me help my kids get through this.
I LOVE your poster to who said: In gentleness and grace, I find calm and strength. brilliant! I learn a lot from the followers of your blog as well.
Thanks,
C.
C,
Not only can you reply to my reply, you can reply to my reply to your reply! Apologies for my reply to your reply being so tardy! Life intervened…deliciously so.
The followers of HGM are brilliant beings that share the most amazing wisdom, and I’m sure they’ll weigh in on your questions.
I have thoughts as well…I have no idea what The Genius may have done throughout our marriage. For all I know he banged away in every time zone on the blue marble. It wouldn’t be crazy to suggest that my entire marriage was a lie. But, it wasn’t my lie. And I didn’t break our vows, betray him or our children, or lie to him incessantly. HE did those things, so he will have to deal with the ramifications.
I stay fully present in the moment. I don’t even go back to ponder
whowhat he may have been doing at any given point in time becauseI don’t care. That’s his life. He’s the one that will have to carry the baggage along with The Happy Dance Chick as they go though life. I literally view ‘it’ as being set free. This is what he refers to as a ‘high horse’, I imagine. I’m not on a high horse, I’m just not wrapped up in my own lies and deceit and in a relationship that began with lies and will forever have that baggage associated with it.I walk hand-in-hand with my children, with my head held high, not so much because I didn’t break my marriage vows, but because of how I handled it when I found out The Genius broke his. I have never been happier. I KNOW that this is possible for EVERYONE that experiences betrayal and divorce. It’s a choice we all can make.
As for the children, I believe they pick their parents. Our sons needed The Genius and me as their Dad and Mom. And I need them, these two little souls so perfect and beautiful and full of light. The best thing I can do for them is to set the right example. To live life full of joy even in light of The Genius. To be loving and open and compassionate. To PARENT them, and not spoil them out of guilt because their family unit is fractured. This is a big one for me because I HAVE to raise two boys that will be honest, respect people, and stop the cycle of infidelity should they chose to marry. Finally, I am very affectionate with them and they really respond to that. We hug, kiss, hold each other, cuddle just for the sake of cuddling…all that genuine touch leaves them feeling secure and happy.
I hope that helps, C! This kind of dialogue is SO helpful to me. Thank you for raising the questions. So grateful to have you here…
Love yourself,
Cleo
Yay for summiting! I feel your brilliant dollar smile just from reading. Congrats again!
W,
Thank you, m’lady. You made me smile again.
Love yourself,
Cleo
what you accomplished is incredible, and something that will stay with you the rest of your life. You have every right to be proud of your accomplishment! I know about being careful about altitude sickness; I went to the top of Mauna Kea on the Big Island of Hawaii for work, of all things (I work in IT, and one of the Observatories at the top need my services). We had to stop at the 10,000 foot level for an hour to get acclimated, drove to the top (nothing like what you did; which is incredible!), and went in to take a look. They took our oxygen levels through our skin using one of those hospital oxygen monitors. If we were below 80, it was down the mountain immediately, no exceptions! I made sure to move slowly and purposely; not quite tai chi, but you know what I mean. The amazing thing was watching the planes coming into Kona and Hilo flying BELOW us on their flights into their respective airports. I also got a lot of very strange looks being dressed in winter gear at sea level in Hawaii, before I went to the office. Kind of funny, looking back on it.
The big thing is that you accomplished something wonderful, something that you will always remember. Being able to call your mom from the top? I teared up a little imagining that, I cannot begin to imagine how it was for you to be able to do that.
Congratulations on getting to your first peak both literally and figuratively, in your journey. I do hope there are many more moments like this in your journey without the switchbacks, of course
…
L,
SO nice to see you! Would you please do me a favor? Will you create a tai chi day at your office where all you brilliant ITers move in pose? Tell no one. How hilarious would that be?
I would have faked a read below 80 and headed down the mount seeking a margarita. Mission accomplished.
Yes, the climb and the swim were great accomplishments. And now I am unraveling the lessons held within. There are more tucked behind the boulders and on the other side of the swells than I first thought. It’s time to look within…I can’t become addicted to the high of extreme physical challenges. Must stay fully present in the moment and peacefully centered. That will be a challenge as I want Everest more than ever! I hope you and the bride have a fabulous week that includes a date night!
Love yourself,
Cleo
Dear Cleo, I too have noticed the lower number of comments and I think I understand why. We are hurting. And we were hanging on every word of yours looking for inspiration, words we could relate to, words of wisdom… you get the drift. Don’t think for one minute that you rising above the horror and becoming effing amazing isn’t the best inspiration out there, but I think it’s something about us aching to be heard, needing to relate, using your words to help us get the tears out… dragging our pain along with you. That’s where our desire to write to you came from. Am I making any sense girls? For me, it’s been 8 months since his train wreck called to tell me of their affair and I look at how far you’ve come and how good you feel and mostly I’m inspired. Then there are times when I see how far you’ve come and I feel I haven’t come far enough along yet. Then I flip flop again (right girls!!), and I remind myself that NO WONDER MY FOUNDATION HAS BEEN SHAKEN, and I go back to being quite pleased with my progress. We are still hanging on every word, I assure you. Please keep talking to us just as you are. And if I could offer you this… you were crying not because you were questioning yourself or your ability or your place in all of this, but because this connection between us means so very much to you. As I said, effing amazing.
P,
You are for sure making sense, m’lady.
This connection between all of us is the most important thing to me next to my children. It seems surreal to say that, but it’s exactly how I feel. When I think of all of you kittens I get filled with such emotion. I want to come to your houses every day and drop off fresh baked bread, give a massive hug and cheer you all on. You motivate me to do the absolute best job I can at rising above this muck and respecting the gift of life.
While the climb and swim have taken center stage as of late, the trials and tribulations, the emotional upheaval continue. The balancing act of walking Whitney’s crest has prepared me well for what I am having to do now. I’m staying firmly rooted in the present and respecting my boundaries. It’s simply the only way to remain on path.
Thank you so much for your kind words of support and for being here, P. You rock.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Congratulations and good for you! Reading your posts has given me more strength and clarity then I could ever possibly find the words to describe. The way you are able to process your thoughts and feelings is so admirable and I’ve tried very hard to adapt them into my own life. I most certainly have gotten lost a bit along the way but EVERY time I (anxiously) check to see if another post is up and when there is I read what you’ve written and get a little bit of strength back. When I have situations arise in my life, which are pretty frequent and pretty negative, I try to imagine how you’d handle it all and then I’m able to hold my shoulders a little higher.
So thank you in so many ways that you don’t even know……..
Congrats once again!
Rylan
R,
Thank you!
Being able to write this all out helps me to process my thoughts and feelings, and having you all to keep me in check insures that I am moving in the right direction. This morning I was thinking about this…it’s like I am an experiment and you kittens are the scientists. When I am going about my day I often think, how would I best serve me and those at HGM in how I handle XYZ?
Honestly, I don’t yet have the proper words to describe how beneficial this relationship between all of us is to my healing and growth. Without it I would not be who I am, where I am today. I feel a responsibility to you all to make this awful situation the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me so we can all find joy in the midst of our unique challenges.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and for your kind words. I am delighted to know that I have helped to get those sexy shoulders to stand up strong. So grateful you are here…
Love yourself,
Cleo
This has been a tough week for me.
This post gave me the pepper to get showered, dressed, slap on some war paint get OUT of my flat and sit in a cafe-no sunglasses shielding me, no book to read and just sit there and be. It’s not climbing a mountain but it might as well have been for me today. Thanks Cleo. You made a big difference in this lady’s life today. Sending you love for inspiring me. XO
L,
Had I walked by that cafe I am certain I would have been taken by your presence. I’m sure you glowed, even if you felt like your light was flickering. I feel compelled to mention encounters to you. I’ve had a few in the past week that really uplifted me. It’s amazing how many beings are floating about that will be drawn in to offer a smile or a hug or a kind word…or simply open the door or say good morning. Each little one reminds me of how precious we all are, and how much we mean to each other even if we are strangers passing in the breeze.
Taking your love and cuddling up to it! Thank you, L. I trust that small step you took will lift your spirits. I am so very grateful you took the time to share and for being here.
Love yourself,
Cleo
I love your mom. You are wonderful, she is too.
M,
She is priceless. A total gift to the world. A giver with no hidden agendas and a woman who speaks her mind. And, at 88, she even uses and iPad. I’d like to carry her around on a chaise lounge, fan her and feed her peeled grapes. She deserves that and more.
Thank you for taking the time to send her your love. I know she is thrilled to receive it. As am I. XO
Love yourself,
Cleo
Hi Cleo,
I meant your million dollar smile (brilliant nonetheless!). Writing is not my strongest but I did want to post to cheer you on. Please be sure that I am eagerly waiting for your new posts and am trying to soak in as much wisdom from your journeys as I can.
All the best,
W
W,
Ha! I reread that sentence and absolutely loved the way it was originally written. Clever, and it just rolled off the tongue. So let’s just say it was on purpose and dance around a bit to celebrate your fine wordsmithing!
I’ll be writing tonight…it’s time to descend the mountain and explore the emotions. Thank you for being here, W.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Hey Girl!
First of all yea! Great Job. I loved reading about your climb. And as a previous poster noted, the summer schedule makes responding difficult. But we are all here.
I have a few “posts” in my head I have needed to get to you so I hope to get this out before the end of toddler nap time!
First – My “genius” hubby and 3 kids stopped in Mill Valley on the way to some BBQ oysters at Tony’s. We sat drinking coffee in on a large patio as I watched people read the paper – the actual printed paper- and the kids all ran about while I tried to guess if you were around! I looked for your Genius too I have to admit.
Also on a different note, I feel we are all hooked to you like this is an ongoing romance novel. We are all really happy for you in your personal growth and discovery but we all secretly want you to meet some hot guy!
Just to remove the pressure, I have already written your tasteful but satifying sex scene. It involves a popcicle but alas- no grey tie.
We are here and not going anywhere without you.
A.L.
A,
I am still waiting for that time when someone approaches me and says, Are you Cleo? Some day I imagine it will happen…
I’m a big fan of Joe’s Taco Lounge in Mill Valley, but if I have coffee out I like a little place in San Anselmo. They have the best jazz band. I don’t know the name, but it’s on a corner. How’s that for specifics?! I don’t get to sit and read the paper over coffee much, tho. I’m usually catching up on housework and doing puzzles and then packing up for the pool. The boys are total fish. We swim all day and then I pour them into bed, all content and happy. The water does wonders for their spirits.
I have met a few men who are quite amazing. I am so fortunate. It’s as if they are hand-picked to teach me. And I don’t mean in a grey tie kind of way…;-) They will be making their appearances, I am sure. Well, one already has – Mr. Triathlete. Which I now realize I first named Mr. Been There Done That. But Mr Triathlete is a better moniker.
But the most amazing people I have met have been all of you.
Now, about that sex scene…I am certain my Mom will have something to say about it. As in it shouldn’t happen unless I am married! But we all know that if that were to happen then locusts will be imminent…
This romance novel of which you speak…it may be reality. You, m’lady, stay very close…
Love yourself,
Cleo
Congratulations! I knew you could do it! Huzzah!
L,
Thank you for your vote of confidence! Perhaps you can help pick out my next peak? I’m thinking Shasta, but I need one to do this fall and Shasta may have to wait till next Spring. Ideas???
Love yourself,
Cleo
Im a bay area girl. Ever been up Mission Peak in Fremont? (I live in Fremont, btw) Its no whitney and is a day trip. Might be too easy for you though?
My husband is a hiker and has been up there dozens of times. Its one of his favorite places in the bay area.
L,
It’s on the list! I must check her out. Thank you for sharing the tip.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Dear Cleo,
So proud of you for climbing Whitney!
Three things:
1) Your writing makes me want to climb a mountain too. The views you’ve described, along with the personal journey you’ve experienced … Incredible.
2) I would have called my mom too. I smiled when I read that you had. What a great moment.
3) I’m one of your blog’s lurkers. Sorry… I never comment, but I always read and then re-read. I’ll remember to comment every now and then for the future! Being a radio show host – of a small radio station – I understand the uncertainty of expression an opinion and getting little/no feedback.
Hope you have a good week,
A.
A,
So sorry for the delay in replying to your comment! Limantour called and I answered. Thank you for taking the time to comment! I know your business well, and yes, it is so important to get feedback. I can only write the way I write and spill forth what bubbles up inside, but knowing that my words resonate helps to calm me. It helps me to feel that I am moving in the right direction because I trust the opinions of you kittens so very much.
Don’t you LOVE talking into a microphone and knowing that little ears all over are taking in your words? Radio rocks. As does mountain climbing.
Stay close, A!
Love yourself,
Cleo
Congrats!! What an accomplishment, especially as the mother of 2 young children. Taking care of them is rewarding yet demanding when flying basically “solo” given the Genius’ schedule. You are truely amazing and an inspiration.
My discovery shook me to the core over a year ago. I am so glad to have found you.
After the initial trauma of it all, I woke up realizing I get a chance to create a better life for me and my family. There are so many new opportunities I would have passed up before. The “encounters” are wonderful.
Onward and upward!
P.S.
I too check every morning for your next post and feel your strength through this alternative path in life.
L,
Thank you so much for being here and for your kind words. I’m so glad you are with me on this journey. We have choices in how we react to betrayal and divorce. Like you, I am unwilling to waste another moment on The Genius. I’m reaching for the brass ring. Why it’s brass, I have no idea. But it’s mine.
I have had a tremendous amount of support, to include my family coming out west to lend a helping hand. I am so grateful to have them in my life. And the people I have met post-Pocket Call have been sent by the Universe to assist me in my time of need. People like Mr. Jackpot and Mr. Triathlete and another who I have yet to name, have been instrumental in my growth. These encounters would not have happened had I been in my room eating Ben and Jerry’s. For sure. I feel so well-taken care of, and I firmly believe it’s because I am taking care of myself.
As parents, we’re taught to reward good behavior. That’s exactly what’s going on in my life right now. I’m seizing opportunities, looking for the silver lining, and being open and vulnerable. For that I am being rewarded. SO, so grateful. And excited!! Stay close…
Love yourself,
Cleo