Kittens, it’s been a bat crazy year. I wish I had the luxury of a free day alone to lay on the dunes at Limantour, go back to the beginning and watch it like a film. A year rich with experiences. Thank you for being here for me and for each other. It has been a true pleasure to spend time with you.
I raise my Clear Conscience in your honor.
I have almost perfected this puppy. But mine seems a little too orange in color. My ginger syrup, however…oh…I’m thinking about putting it on everything. Looking forward to heading back to Napa to see how Angéle’s compares.
Act Two officially kicks off this weekend. My post will feature a man we all know and love.
The bed beckons. But before I go,
You have my admiration and my gratitude. Thank you for the tough love, the support, the laughs, the amazing guidance. You’ve caused me to ponder, and you’ve made me laugh. Because of your presence here, I’ve stayed on a fast track to happiness. I’m very grateful to you all.
Love yourself,
Cleo
We missed you at Burning Man this year. We had trike flights ready to whisk you into truly 4 dimensions. Or you could have been a firefly, weightless for 8 seconds after the parachute people were gone and it was time to dive down back to Black Rock City Municipal Airport. But you were doing the hard and necessary work. Swimming and climbing, what a great combo. I have great admiration for you, Cleo. See you next year.
A,
I thought about you on the Playa! I hope to be there next year.
Thank you for your kind words, my dear. Your presence here is much appreciated.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Congratulation on your one year …I read all your post and hope I’ll get there soon …right now I’m at the point where I’m trying to fight myself to stay strong and away from all the social media (Facebook and instagram) where my ex husband the donor and his lover show happiness today is one week and I did it for one week he has t been in my head I know it will all fall in to place and soon I’ll be where u are …keep writing you help me out and a lot of other people that need your strenght …
R,
Stay strong, m’lady, and block them from your FB! Do only that which feels good. Really good. To your soul. Not your mind. I”m not going anywhere, and the kittens always lend a hand. Thank you for being here, R. Stay close…
Love yourself,
Cleo
Cleo, congratulations on getting through the first year post the pocket call. My first year post the “middle of the night text message” was a rough one, but once it was through a world of opportunity and happiness presented itself. Two years in I’m incredibly happy, raising my three boys in peace and in love, both with myself and with a man who treats me like his queen! Your life is going to be GREAT!
A
An
Thank you, A. I am busting out with happiness for you.
I feel the excitement…I feel it. Now it’s up to me to harness it and give it the opportunity to power up my dreams. Your comment has brought tears to my eyes. I’m grateful for that. Thank you for being here to read my words and share in my journey. You rock.
Love yourself,
Cleo
This morning I was running a bit late but I decided to multi-task, read your blog entries, check my email and drink my much needed coffee all at the same time. I had a mouthful of ‘black coffee’ -Here in the Mid-east that is what they call Turkish Coffee, so thick oozing black coffee full of grounds.
I got to the part in the last post where the Genius chastises you. I was so startled that I actually snorted and barked with laughter at the same time! Spraying and exhaling coffee out of my nose and mouth all over my work pages, my work clothes, my IPAD etc..
Then ensued utter panic as I dashed round the flat flinging off clothes and cursing that ex husband of yours to the underworld and back. I drove to work with a blouse around my neck only one shoe on and an unzipped skirt.
Tell that Genius he owes me a new blouse, smirk.
L,
If banana could be forced through nasal passages, mine would have shot out to cover my laptop as I read this:
“I drove to work with a blouse around my neck only one shoe on and an unzipped skirt.”
Lately, it seems, we’re all in some sort of state of undress in the most unexpected of places! L, I am so glad you took the time to bring us into your world. It seems like a killer fun place to be. I adore having you here. Thank you.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Love and light to you, dear Cleo.
L,
Thank you, m’lady. And to you. Rock on.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Congrats, Cleo, you’ve done it!
Thanks for sharing your life with us and keeping us close on the journey.
You have an awesome life, you’re an amazing woman, and I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
Because the best is yet to come.
LY!
M,
With your support and care, m’lady! I have all that I need, more than I’ve ever wanted and a whole life ahead of me to explore. Yes, the best is yet to come. Thank you, M. So grateful you are here.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Congratulations, Cleo, on making it through the year. It has been such a unique experience, like we have gone through this with you, on your journey. Sheesh! So, let’s see… You climbed Mt. Whitney, Swam (!) from Alcatraz to the Marina, went through the initial, rightfully so, sense of betrayal, went to the “Marriage Save, Guaranteed!”
therapist, went to a GREAT spa weekend, went to Yachats, took your great kids back to the high desert near Whitney, Mt. Tam reflections. Nah, pretty uneventful year, if you ask me! 
You are, and have been, amazing! You have taken such a healthy and soul searching journey over the last year. You have to be the healthiest (in mind AND spirit) person I have seen who has gone through such a horrible experience. I’m not trying to sugar coat it, mind you, I am sure, and I have read, the rough patches, and I am sure there are personal reflections that haven’t made it to the pages here, but you are doing great, and I cannot wait to see and experience with you (vicariously, of course), Chapter Deux of your post Pocket Call experience. Hang in there and keep on your path! I am sure there are switch backs (like on Whitney) along your way, but you *will* reach the summit!
LTMM
L,
Thank you for the trip down memory lane! Best part about it, L? You kittens were here for me the entire time.
I’m really proud of this last year of my life. That said, I sense the next year is going to require so much more of me, my heart and soul, to achieve what I feel I need to achieve.
I’m working on being prepared for the tasks ahead. Staying centered. Believing in myself. I’m ready to make my dreams come true, L. Stay close…one day you, me and your bride are going to raise our glasses and toast the miracle of life. I just know it.
Your support means so much to me, L. Thank you. You absolutely rock.
Love yourself,
Cleo
I think you are getting through to me…
Today my ex was mean. The kind of mean that reaches out and erases me, my words, my worth and my abilities. This kind of mean doesn’t require many words or much time. It is stealth and precise.
I reacted predictably, filling whatever void in him is temporarily filled in this kind of exchange. My reaction has been like the fix of an addict. Predictable, immediate and raising him for a momentary high and then leaving him low and worthless in the gutter of his own creation. He knew he had gotten to me once again. He smiled.
Tears were forming behind my sunglasses while we watched my darling daughter play soccer and then, suddenly, I just thought “thank you”. And I meant it.
“Thank you for being so mean because you finally make it clear that mean is who you are for now and mean is who you have been. Only you can decide if you will always be mean but, for now, you are mean and, really, not much more. Thank you because I taught you it was OK to be mean to me and today you showed me that I did this. I needed you to be mean, this one more time, so that I could finally learn. Thank you.”
I can only imagine how empowered I will be when I finish reading all of your entries. You are amazing.
Thank you.
C,
I am so happy for you! That must have felt amazing! You saw why the vignette was taking place. Why the scene was created. You absorbed it, which means you were observing. You were fully present in the moment, which freed up your heart to speak so you could hear. Bravo!
This is the tipping point. It all gets very cool from here. Take the power of gratitude and run with it! But stay close, C. And thank you for your very kind words.
Love yourself,
Cleo
Such powerful words Cassandra. I actually copied them someplace I can see them often. So beautifully written. You truly captured what it feels like to be treated cruelly by someone you once loved. Thank you for sharing it.
I’ve been reading your words for months, allowing your calm to seep into my soul, reminding myself to stay present, to experience this entirely, remembering that I can discover more about myself in how I handle these difficult situations.
I appreciate you and your words, thank you for sharing journey.
There’s a song by Rosi Golan, “Been a Long Day”, that I think might just hum the tune of the year since the pocket call. …you are ready to be here.
Love you.
Love,
Me
B,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I’m certain I am meant to go find that song today. Which will be a LONG day.
“…reminding myself to stay present, to experience this entirely, remembering that I can discover more about myself in how I handle these difficult situations.” As is always the case, I read your words and they remind me to do as I say, as I write. Thank you for helping to calm me on a day when I feel anything but calm. I am forever grateful.
Yes. I am ready to be here. And like the first day of school, I feel a little out of place. Time to center and be grateful. As I am for your presence at HGM. Thank you.
Love yourself,
Cleo