Healthy relationship rock! Does yours fit the bill? Here are 12 signs of a terrific relationship:
1. You trust each other
True trust takes time, and it is earned.
If you trust your guy, when you aren’t together, you never need to worry about what he is doing– and he trusts you in the same way.
You know you can tell your partner anything in confidence and he will not violate your trust. You enjoy his input and opinions and know he always has your back.
2 You allow each other your own interests
I love Bikram yoga and my fiancé never goes with me and, actually, I prefer it. That is my personal time. I also love to go out with my girlfriends to lunch. In several weeks, I am meeting my best friend in Southern Utah for a few days for a girl’s weekend retreat. This ought to be allowed and encouraged. It is good and healthy, for both of you, to have a life outside of the relationship (provided it doesn’t cross boundaries).
3 You are besties
You truly love your guy. You trust him. You love spending time together and building a life together. I know couples whose time together is a dreaded chore. They are annoyed and frustrated. Healthy couples laugh a lot together, look for new life adventures, and enjoy the mundane chores of life. Eye rolling, loud sighs, and put-downs are basically non-existent in healthy, happy relationships.
4 You communicate well
You can speak to each other about hard topics without fear. You respect each other enough to listen and talk. I remember all too well dreading talking to my now ex-husband because without warning, it could erupt into a screaming match. It was literally frightening. On the flip side, healthy couples talk, work things out, and are a team.
5 You accept each other
You are both your authentic selves because the relationship is “safe.” Neither of you is pretending to be something you aren’t and that is ok. The relationship is a place of love and respite.
6 You have healthy coping mechanisms
Life can be tough, and this can happen without warning. Healthy couples know how to cope with those challenges like adults. Screaming, hitting, throwing things, or resorting to drugs or alcohol is unnecessary and non-existent.
7 Your relationship gets stronger with time
Healthy relationships grow stronger. The companionship, shared life experiences, trust and friendship gets better. There are no shortcuts in relationship-building. Rushing into new relationships and expecting them to have great characteristics immediately sets both of you up for failure. Enjoy your time together, no rush. Let it unfold naturally.
8 You have empathy for your partner
Your partner’s pain is yours, and likewise. You should never secretly be happy or celebrate your partner’s challenges in life. (I admit that when my now ex-husband had bad things happen to him because of his alcoholism, I secretly cheered. It was a really sick marriage.)
9 You enjoy the sex
You are comfortable sharing your body with your partner.
10 You know your guy (and you like him)
You have taken the time to get to know each other. Can you describe his childhood, know (and like) his friends and family, and can describe some of his most important accomplishments? I remember once dating a guy and a friend asked me the color of his eyes. I couldn’t answer. That was sad (and said a lot about our relationship).
11 He brings out your best
In a healthy relationship, you truly try to be a better partner and friend. For example, do you think of him and make small gestures that you think will bring him joy? Do you cheer his successes with no strings attached? If you say yes, you’re on the right track.
12 The thought of your partner makes you smile
If you are talking about your guy with a friend, are you saying anything positive? If someone asked you to name 10 things that you love about your partner, could you do it without thinking too hard? Do you want the same things in life? Are you financially compatible? Do you both enjoy, say, children and dogs? If not, you are going to have a rough go of it.
14 You make plans for your future
If you cannot talk about your future together or, if you do, your scenarios are dramatically different, you are on borrowed time.
15 He makes you smile