Fifty Shades of … OMG I Just Threw Up in My Mouth a Little, or, Ewwwwwww, Mom!

My mother, despite being that and therefore uncool, historically seems to have been spot on in her timely recommendations to me. And I, equally historically, have resisted them for no other reason that she’s my mom and that’s what daughters do. Stupid, I know.

I distinctly remember her telling me as a pre-teen about this great movie that was getting so many good reviews. It was supposed to be about teens who were finding their way, lots of witty dialogue, great music. Of course, I had to resist becuase it was my mom recommending it. That movie turned out to be The Breakfast Club. Yes, The Breakfast Club. The now classic and iconic coming of age movie that anyone in their 30s has memorized pretty much line by line by osmosis because it has permeated our culture so much.

Then there was this T.V. show when I was in high school. Again, my mom told me how it was getting lots of hype and was supposed to really be showing teens. When she told me the name of it, I scoffed. Really, mom? You believe everything you read? Who on earth would anyone watch a show called Beverly Hills, 90210. That’s so stupid. There was probably a teenage eye roll involved.

So months ago when she mentioned to me this new book getting lots of press and written just for women, you’d think I’d have listened. But no. Because apparently I do not learn. I brushed it off, barely noting the name, “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Nevermind that I’d gone on to love both The Breakfast Club and Beverly Hills, 90210. Then, over the weeks, I started to hear what the book was about. The Internet exploded with commentary, parody and discussions. Friends were reading it, it made prime time headlines. I was about to crack and read it.

And, THEN, my mom offered to lend me her Kindle to read it, saying she’d enjoyed it, it was fine and she could see how it was used as an instruction manual. At which point I got nauseous. So this is my official commentary on “Fifty Shades of Grey”: I would be totally willing to undergo a ball gag at this point if it would help me forget that my mom was reading erotica.