My first post on Blunt Moms was about my divorce looking different than others. When I say different, I mean not the typical fighting, physically leaving, lawyer needed divorce.
If you’ve read some of my posts here, you know I live with my ex, and we manage nicely. The post only elicited three comments so far, but one said we were in la-la land. It didn’t offend me at all. In fact it made me sit, and ponder.
Are we fooling ourselves? Is it too good to be true? The answer, in my honest opinion is no. And not because I like to win, but because I have never felt so much real, unselfish love with my ex before.
I am almost certain that we were a great couple for a little while, and then we played a part. I know, also, that we were meant to create our kids, because I look into their eyes, and I feel it. I know I would be nothing without them.
The person who commented seemed to be speaking from a place of experience with separation, warning us that lawyers were around the corner, and one or both of us were lying somehow playing each other off. We are not.
I would never take the position of knowing what is best for anyone’s relationship. In fact the first reason in keeping a blog is to keep me sane. The second reason is to hopefully be a place for some other couple to see their story of happily separating.
I’d be completely naive to think it’s all roses and cupcakes in my future. We certainly haven’t cleared all the hurdles. Our kids still don’t officially know. I haven’t seen my ex with another woman, or even speak of being interested in any. So yes, I expect certain milestones to affect me. But lawyers? No. Mean spirited fighting. Not us.
We have both witnessed huge growth in each other. I have seen egos brought down and surrendered. I have put aside my need to be right in exchange for listening to him. These things, that a married couple would need to do in order to be “successful.”
We are doing our best. That’s all I can hope for.