I am a purist.
I don’t do sequels, prequels or remakes. I am not interested in a Broadway re-interpretation of a show that was Tony winning in the 60’s.
I am pretty sure that if Star Wars goes any further back in prequels, it will end up in our present time.
Like indigestion, things that repeat are rarely as good as the first time. Just an opinion.
I also do not relate well to the new trend in adding words to the dictionary. I understand slang. I do not understand taking slang and incorporating it into the English Language and giving those words the same dignity as those which have graced the pages for as long we know.
In the past few years, we have been given words like wine o’clock, cat cafe, awsomesause, grexit, brevet, swatting and microaggression. Wowsers. ( I added that last one).
I do not get it.
Yes, I have been owned, or I think it is actually pwned, but that one does not even process in my brain. There may be a Reddit or a Subreddit somewhere that discusses this phenomenon, but I am too hangry to check. It would have to be really good, or a mic drop to make me care.
English, my native tongue is now pissing me off. WTF are you people talking about?? What am I talking about??
The latest target for my aggression is the “word” adulting. Apparently, what was once a noun, is now a verb, and interestingly enough, IT IS OPTIONAL. We now have a new choice. Do I wish to adult ? Nope, I would prefer to “millionaire” today.
Some millenials ( how do I even spell that??) have taken the state of being which comes as a result of getting older and turned it into something optional, heretofore, I do not feel like “adulting today”.
I don’t get this. Single moms don’t have that luxury. Being an adult is not a choice. Not only do we “adult” as a matter of age, we “adult” as a matter of course.
When that super human handsome millennial at work who took a nasty picture ( ok several) of me a few weeks ago, asked me what I had planned for the weekend, to which I replied, well, I have to take the dogs to the vet, my daughter had dance, and probably some grocery shopping and laundry. Oh, yes, and the Open House. He replied Maan, you are doing some serious adulting this weekend. His once appealing physical beauty was now just annoying.
<Thinking> Well yes, you fool I am an adult with children and responsibility.
( What I actually said) I guess, so.
( He said) Oh, no. I don’t do adulting. I plan to sleep in and chill.
<Thinking>&^$%#%#@
( What I actually said) Enjoy!
Age and responsibility have become optional.
Alternating feelings of jealousy, anger and confusion took over.
When did that happen? Did I miss the invite to that party? Did it get lost underneath my AARP invitation? I better have a hot cup of Matcha and sort this out.
OK, no more adulting for me. Cool. Y’all know what I mean. Apparently, it is now properly grammatically correct to adult or not to adult. We can conjugate the verb. I adult. You adult. He/She adults. We adult. You ( plural ) adult.
While sitting next to the guy in the office who was manspreading in the cafeteria, I heard him call his wife to tell her he was not coming home because he was going to the gym.
Got it. He is refusing to adult this evening.
I did find one word that I like: mansplain– to explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing:I’m listening to a guy mansplain economics to his wife Apparently you can’t sell a second-hand car for as much as a new one. So glad he mansplained that to me
Daydreaming about my refusal to adult left me feeling a bit guilty. As I think about the poor doggies who need their nails cut, and the dirty laundry, and the empty fridge, and my daughter holding her dance bag, waiting to leave, I pause….
I am going to rage-quit now. I am getting angry. I think this is English. In all honesty, I might owe you all an apology as I am really not sure that this makes much sense.
Back to adulting. NO.
Back to being an adult. The only verb I plan to do this evening is finish my wine ( it is wine o’clock) OMG. It is impossible to stop. This crap has invaded my brain.
Repeat after me. I speak English. English is my language. I am an adult. I do not adult by choice. I am an adult and a single mom, who has no choice but to adult.
I give up.
Leave a Reply