I Almost Missed This One…A Free Foot Massage!

I get a lot of email. I have multiple accounts: one for personal, one for each job/Client or stream of revenue and one for online shopping and anyone else to whom I do not want to give my personal email.

I have set up some pretty good filters that get rid of most of the garbage that comes my way via the internet. Don’t try to sell me anything; if I want to make a purchase, I know where to find you. I am on to just about every trick that someone might play to get me to open up an email that I simply do not want to open.

Now, all of that being said, I am also a good skimmer… I scan all of the emails that do come my way, at least by title. One day, I was sitting at my daughter’s dance school, just passing the time by skimming through my inbox, when I came across something that I actually might need: free foot massage for you was the subject heading of the email.

Apart from the fact that my feet, were in desperate need of a pedicure, I opened the email to see if it might be a local deal that might be budget friendly for a hard working single mom like me.

Upon opening the email, I saw that it was anything but what I hoped it might be. It was no solicitation, it was an email from a potential suitor on Match.com.

As I sat there staring at it, I accidentally laughed out loud. Here is what I saw ( retouched to protect the crazy)

 

My brain was flooded with options- Reply Now, Say No Thanks, Report a Concern, each had its own appeal. I looked closer to see that this freak was looking for women between the ages of 25 -95 to rub their feet.

The sarcasm in me was bubbling over, and my mind was in overdrive. I wanted to offer him my mom for the afternoon, and let him rub her 90 year old feet, callouses and all. I wanted to hit Report a concern, but I thought about all the other single ladies out there who might be deprived of a laugh. Is a foot fetish a concern? Or a Danger? Probably Not.  I waited until I got home, and 

Hit reply now. ( Yes, BFF, I did!) 

I told him that his message came across like a solicitation, and wanted clarification that he was really offering a foot massage. To which he replied that if my toes were painted red, he would massage them, and anything else I wanted massaged. 

I looked down and my sad feet, wearing wool slipper socks, no less, and took off my socks. No polish and in great need of some time in the foot spa, I laughed out loud. I replied that while it was an enticing offer, it was not my idea of a first conversation. Thanks and good luck.

To be perfectly honest, ( which is why I use a pen name) I have wondered about how that date might have turned out. Did I turn it down because it was weird? Well yes, but should I have? OK, yes, I probably did the right thing, but here is what I do think- I have stopped looking for the simply selfish joys of life. I have allowed myself to turn into someone who simply brings happiness for others- my mother who “deserves it” because she is near the end of her life, and my children because that is what mothers do. But what about me? Is it so bad to be selfish sometimes?