I Did Something I Never Thought I Would Do

We argued. Again. Divorced 11 years, and occasionally, we can still get in a good argument.

Then the words flew out of my mouth. “If you don’t do this, the children will know why.”

I have never threatened him in that manner, and I am still shocked that I was angry enough to do so now. It doesn’t really matter what we argued about; what mattered to me was his failure to take me seriously. I held the love of his children over his head like an axe. I threatened the honesty that he has dreaded for so long.

I was no longer the dumb wife who spent too much money…. I wasn’t the jealous wife who cared that he cheated on me when I was in the hospital. I was the Single mom who held everything together all these years, keeping my feelings to myself, and not telling the kids what a bastard their father was to me. I was the mother to his children who, for that one time in so many years, spoke up and asked for help.

I got my way. He did as I asked, but we both paid a price. I promised him that the days of our friendly divorce are over. I know that somewhere down the line, we will both suffer for that. Ideally, he will learn  something that has been lost on him in the past quarter century that we know each other. I have always deserved just a bit more respect than he has given to me.