Oh oh oh, the age old question… is it far worse to be cheating on someone or to be snooping on your partner because you don’t trust them?
This week on my podcast You’re Soaking in It With Madge, my friend Christopher and I discuss which is worse snooping or cheating. With lots of stories from our real lives and lots of laughs. Listen here…
You’re Soaking in It With Madge Podcast – Ep10 Which is Worse Snooping or Cheating?
Have you ever been in a situation where you came across something that you maybe shouldn’t look at it, but you did? Is that so wrong? I remember being married and my ex-mother-in-law was giving us boxes of his junk, so I started looking through it. It was just scrapbook kind of stuff. Until I got to college stuff, which had only been a few years before since we were in our mid 20’s at the time. And stuck in there was a letter from his college girlfriend which was dated in the time we were dating. There were obviously still feelings, from things she said on both sides. But we had been married for like 6 months, that was like a year and a half ago. Do you bring it up?
Yea, or the time I came across a love note written and never sent by someone I was dating. Which I came across because it was in a notebook he gave me to write in. It definitely wasn’t to me. But when was it written? A long time ago? Recently? I figured it out it was to someone he was still friendly with. Bring it up or not bring it up? It wasn’t like I was snooping as he gave me the book, but I read other pages in the book. Is that bad?
Does any of it really matter if you find something incriminating? Does it all get cancelled out if you find out your significant other is cheating? Who cares if you snooped because you found out they are in the wrong.
That’s what we discuss in the podcast. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below or the comments below the podcast on Stitcher or iTunes.
My big question is… what if you found something questionable by accident, i.e. the notebook thing. Do you bring it up? I guess maybe if you bring it up in a questioning way and apologizing for reading it rather than an accusatory way… right? Or do I even want to open Pandora’s Box?
What if those were just someone’s thoughts about an ex but have nothing going on with them now? Yeesh, I think that’s still an issue that maybe should be addressed. What do you think?
I do think it’s best to give these things some thought first before decide to broach the subject. I don’t advise having a knee jerk reaction, ripping out the pages of the notebook, running upstairs and throwing them in his face and yelling “You bastard!” Although that may be your initial reaction. Come down. Think. Think it through. If you decide to approach do it slowly. If you really want to have a good angle, ask something specific from the letter, don’t just say, “Who is Joanne!” They can easily spin that. If you say “What exactly happened on the beach in Florida when you locked eyes and didn’t want to let go?” Manipulative yes, maybe, maybe no, but it doesn’t leave wiggle room.
Go ahead and listen to the podcast and feel free to join in the discussion.
You’re Soaking in It With Madge podcast – EP10 What’s Worse, Snooping or Cheating?
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Don’t you think that anyone who feels like they have to snoop has been gaslighted or lied to? When you have that uneasy feeling about whether your partner is actually telling the trtuth, it’s the worst.
Yes, some people are naturally paranoid and don’t respect boundaries. But, in my experience, anyone who suspected their partner was cheating validated it with snooping. Which, in all cases, ended the relationship. This, honestly, I feel is better than being in a relationship with a person who is willing to put you at financial or physical risk of STDs.