Newsflash: Kids of Divorced Moms Are Alright

Twenty-five percent of children from divorced families had serious social, emotional, or psychological problems as compared to 10 percent from non-divorced families. This was a finding cited in an article titled ‘The Kids Are Not Really Alright’ by W. Bradford Wilcox.

There were several other findings from various sources that Wilcox cited in his article. Here are a few others:

• Research by Sara McLanahan at Princeton University suggests that boys are significantly more likely to end up in jail or prison by the time they turn 30 if they are raised by a single mother.
• Research on young men suggests they are less likely to engage in delinquent or illegal behavior when they have the affection, attention, and monitoring of their own mother and father.
• ­­One study by Bruce Ellis of the University of Arizona found that about one-third of girls whose fathers left the home before they turned 6 ended up pregnant as teenagers, compared with just 5 percent of girls whose fathers were there throughout their childhood.
• Single mothers, even from wealthier families, have less time to raise their children. They are less likely to be able to monitor their kids. They do not have a partner who can relieve them when they are tired or frustrated or angry with their kids.
• A marriage mindset has reasserted itself among college-educated Americans. Today, college-educated Americans are divorcing less, steering clear of non-marital childbearing, and enjoying relatively high-quality marriages.
• College-educated Americans are now more likely to attend church than their less-educated fellow citizens, and they have also become more marriage-minded since the 1970s—in their attitudes toward divorce, for instance—whereas less-educated Americans have become less marriage-minded over the same time. These cultural changes are only reinforcing the marriage divide in America, insofar as religious attendance and marriage-minded norms tend to strengthen marriage.
• Children from more-educated and affluent homes are doubly advantaged by their parents’ substantial economic resources and by the fact that their parents usually get and stay married.

So what have we learned from these data points? Well, statistically speaking, kids from divorced families are not as ‘alright’ as kids from non-divorced families. The title of the message would certainly suggest this, as would the totality of points made. We have also learned that religious attendance and marriage-minded norms tend to strengthen marriage.

But what have we really learned? The answer lies between ‘not so much’ and ‘divorced moms are still painted as enablers of not so great lives for their children.’

For instance, most single mothers would agree that a child raised by two parents in the same house is ideal. They would also state that keeping a family physically together is not ideal if there are irreconcilable physical, psychological or emotional issues. So while this article cites the obvious benefit of a child raised in a non-divorced family, the author neglects to mention the obvious fact that a lot of marriage are irreconcilable and, if kept in-tact, would make the child’s life far worse.

I also found it interesting that the author never talks about single fathers, only single mothers. Statistically speaking, most single parents are single mothers, this is undeniably true. But how did they become single mothers? Strangely, this question was never asked or answered in the article. Instead, the reader is left reading statements about single motherhood does to a child. For your reading pleasure, here is a recap of these statements with my own comments:

• Research by Sara McLanahan at Princeton University suggests that boys are significantly more likely to end up in jail or prison by the time they turn 30 if they are raised by a single mother.
  • Translation: Poor jail bound children of those single mothers.
•  ­­One study by Bruce Ellis of the University of Arizona found that girls whose fathers left the home before they turned 6 ended up pregnant as teenagers, compared with just 5 percent of girls whose fathers were there throughout their childhood.
  • Translation: Girls need their fathers or they’ll get pregnant.
• Single mothers, even from wealthier families, have less time to raise their children. They are less likely to be able to monitor their kids. They do not have a partner who can relieve them when they are tired or frustrated or angry with their kids.
  • Translation: Single, tired, frustrated, angry mothers…tsk tsk tsk. Even the picture within the article paints an offensive portraits of a (presumably single) mother wrought with annoyance holding her infant child.