My GoFundMe campaign is live today. I need to raise $5000 for a legal retainer to go into court next week to get an emergency order to keep my ex from sending my son away. I am also seeking to modify custody and reinstate child support.
I loathe asking for help, but if ever there were a time, this is it. No amount is too small. Click on the link below, which will take you to my gofundme page, where you can donate. And even if you can’t donate, please consider sending this link to those who can.
Pauline
http://www.gofundme.com/8ganlc
I have been awaiting your updates-Im nervous for you and Frannie & Luca. What happened when you met with him??
Ended up not meeting.
hi Pauline, okay done. I hope you are listening to your lawyer, and not letting yourself get in the Prince’s clutches again.
My impression was that when the step-mom dared Luca to leave and he did, Prince was pretty angry, probably at both his wife and son. Never at himself, lol! So he is trying to punish Luca and does not want to give him anything right now. Sending you good vibes, and I hope you get a decent judge. Any chance at arrears? Hope so!!
Hi Jocelyn — the judge is supposed to be fair and is known for actually reading paperwork so that’s good!
So is there a chance the judge might order more child support in order you can house both children in a bedroom each?
There’s a chance!
I’ve always marveled at people fighting over the custody of teenagers. All I can say is it takes two to fight. Seems like what you should be fighting over is attenging camp wilderness, and even then…
How did you manage to spend $100K and not step foot in a court room? I think the thing that is most surprising to people is that there is seldom a big trial. It almost always comes down to negotiation and you lawyer telling you that you could win on this point (so stick to your guns) or you’ll loose on that point (so if we have to give, give on that point), and fatigue. The simple fact is that a 100% litigated divorce would only be afordably by the vary rich and if even a fraction of them insisted on it, we’d need to build more court houses. The system just couldn’t handle it.
I dated a couple of psych majors in college. All but one were in that major to self diagnose…
We went to two different mariage counselors. The first one hated men and the second one didn’t think that my wife continuing with her affair was an issue that needed to be resolved before we got down to our “real issues”. I’m sure that there are some good ones out there, but like all other professsion, there’s no guarantee.
I’m surprised at the 50/50 split of expenses. That seems like poor representation over legal policy. Where I’m at its all income ratio. expenses outside of what is covered by child support (uncovered medical and extra coricular activities) and split on an income ratio. Child support is ratio of income adjusted to compensate for parenting time (50/50 overnights AND equal incomes means no child support). I make 5x what my ex does and have 80% of the over nights, so she doesn’t pay much in child support. On a $100 unreembursed medical expense, she owes $16 (and we’ve agreed not to consider anything less that $100).
When it come to your ex’s lack of income, I have two thoughts. How is that any different than a woman who chooses to be a stay at home wife with her second husband? Yes, he can afford to support her, but doesn’t the ex-wife have a financial resopnsiblity to provide for the kids? The courts have always said no. The other thing that suprises me is that the income from his realestate holdings should be earning cash right? Seem’s like that’s income. I understand not basing thing on his parents income or assets or forcing him to liqudate non-marital assets.
When it comes to parenting, courts are reluctant to admit that “there can only be one” in some cases. I think it is because of the disaster the old custody system was (where dad’s were automatically marginalized ted as parents and treated like checkbooks) and a distrust of granting that kind of power to a bitter combatent. That said, in general, despite all of the reforms, mom’s generally win the battle. I managed to “win”, but it’s only because of the mistakes my ex-wife made and my willingness to capatalize on them. I’ve been in a few support groups and there are very few dads who “won” a custody fight. In most cases “winning” meant forcing a share custody agreement or the ex-wife losing on her own merrits.
The problem with the “narcisist” label is that too many people over use it. True narcissism is a mental disorder and courts are reluctant to have a policy of marginalizing parents who have mental issues that don’t directly endanger the kids. My best friends ex is bi-polar. She was truely abusive during their marriage and continues to be a difficult/abusive person to co-parent with, but the court granted them 50/50 custody.
As I read through your particular issues, it seems to me that you’ve been caught in a legal system that changing, but has not gotten there completely. There are prescedents set based on the old systems that assuemed a wealthy educated cheating husband was leaving his high school educated never worked outside the home wife for his secretary. No fault divorce, father’s rights driven divorce legislation, degentrification of the legal system, highly educated mom’s, and all of the other changes from that 1940’s model (if it ws ever really true), all grind against the legal standards that have been set along the way. In the process people who don’t fit the model can get screwed pretty hard.