Last night I had the strangest dream. I’m talking frightening. I dreamt I was marrying my ex-husband. Again. I don’t know why I was doing this. But I do know it was nothing like the first round of nuptials when I naively promised my life to the Prince of Darkness. (In my defense he looked like Prince Charming at the time and I am a bit nearsighted.) It wasn’t all hearts and flowers, or a happiest-day-of-my-life kind of thing. In this dream, the wedding was very matter-of-fact. It was just happening.
Anyway, I was standing by a lake in my big white dress, craning my neck towards a path by which the guests were due to arrive. But no one was coming down the path. Not even a squirrel. This was really stressing me out. The pressure was mounting. And then it began to dawn on me: none of my friends and family was coming to my wedding! And if they were boycotting the whole thing, maybe it wasn’t such a great idea after all. Maybe I shouldn’t go through with it.
As if I needed further confirmation, suddenly I was surrounded by dozens of meandering pigs, some running, some pushing against me and some swimming in the lake beside me. There were pigs as far as the eye could see. I found this strange and a bit alarming. Was I craving bacon? Had I developed a hankering to join the 4H Club?
I woke up in a cold sweat (a la James Brown, minus the horn section). I was all shook up because the dream had felt all too real. It took a few minutes for the hang over to subside and as I tried to make sense of the mish-mosh of hazy images that were fading fast from my conscious mind, the meaning of the dream became clear. My friends and family had boycotted the wedding because they knew I was going to marry a pig. Again.
I immediately picked up the phone and called a friend to recount the dream. This was met with gales of hysterical laughter. “Of course nobody would come to that wedding,” she chortled. “We would sooner have you committed than witness you recommitting to him!”
I made several other calls and, of course, got the same reply from everyone; they never would have attended such a farce. I tried to laugh along but still, I was troubled by the fact that I’d had the dream at all. I guess the bottom line is, you can 86 someone from your life but your subconscious has a mind of its own.
On the bright side, the whole thing was only a dream and the dream wasn’t true. Not even in the vicinity of true. And I’m lucky to have friends I can count on; friends who would rather commit me to a mental institution than see me go even one more round with my ex. And somehow, I find that very comforting.
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