The rebound relationship is a time-honored institution that has continued to survive for a reason. It’s a rite-of-passage, an antidote for low self-esteem and whether it’s infatuation or the beginning of a beautiful friendship, rebounding is a tonic for the lame-of–heart who fought the good fight and lived to tell the tale.
Like nothing else I can think of, the act of rebounding drives home the fact that there is such an animal as love after divorce. Whether you wait four years, to run headlong into a new pair of arms, or stumble out there after only four days, the parameters of the rebound relationship are still the same. It’s really good for you. And the mere act of kissing someone who isn’t your ex-husband can make you feel almost virginal again. I say almost because this is physically impossible (without extensive plastic surgery) but it absolutely feels that way on an emotional level.
Unfortunately, rebounding can be confusing at times. Like a noisy third wheel, inevitably the ghost of your used-to-be will rear his ugly head because he’s still very much in yours. It takes longer than you might think to shake loose the bits and pieces of emotional foliage that made up the landscape of your marriage, as they cling to you like unwanted dog hair. You’ll find that you keep waiting for the new guy to behave like the old one, to say and do all the things that made you want to get divorced in the first place. And when he acts like the polar opposite of your ex, it might feel a bit strange because, let’s face it, old habits die hard and you were so used to battling for every inch of your life that you are still in combat mode to a certain extent. But trust me, unless the new guy’s head starts to spin in circles or he’s foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog, you can safely assume that he is indeed someone new and not a doppelganger of the man you were married to.
The rebound relationship is paramount when it comes to moving on, up and out of the patterns that defined you once upon a time. And if nothing else, it will certainly put the bounce back in your bed if not your step.
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