Divorce is hard there is no doubt about it but it does come with some rewards. Al constantly surprises me by how thoughtful and caring he is. I’m still not used to it being largely ignored as I was by my previous, ahem, partner of 14 years. I’ve been keeping a little list of all the many ways that my boyfriend is better than my ex-husband for all of you that are sitting crying about your divorce. Sometimes, out of hardship and depression and loneliness and comfort eating and being poor and being scared to death, a phoenix rises out of the ashes and sometimes the phoenix doesn’t suck.
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This custody arrangement is somewhat new and I recognize can only be used in special circumstances. I know there are many instances in which it won’t work. For example, if your ex is immature, jerkish, a liar, bat shit crazy or just all around such a dumb ass that they must be avoided for your own sanity, then forget about it!
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Boyfriends listen, too. They are there when you want to rant, and they reflect back what you’ve just said so you know they’re on the same page and are on your side. They can be companionably silent and still connect with you, rather than just quiet because they’ve tuned you out, like an ex-husband.