Aha!

This weekend has come and gone.  I was on you see but Stanley was here all weekend.  Something about the pool pump.  He worked and worked out there and I was as tense as possible with him here on the property all weekend.  Not that I don’t appreciate the work.  That is rare enough, but I was starting to think that maybe an alien had abducted my lazy beer monkey ex-husband and put this hard-working beer monkey in his place. 

And he did brew beer this morning while fiddling with the pump.  

I saw the signs.  You could see them from space.

The day I see this, listen for gun shots!  No gun here 

but I will run next door lickity split.

So, this afternoon, he comes in and plops on the sofa next to me.  The hair is already standing up on the back of my neck because he was on the property all weekend.  I could have asked him to leave per our agreement, but I was highly motivated for him to fix that pump.  It is getting hot here already!

So, here he plops and I realize he has something to say.  Lord help him.  

 I’m waiting…..

FINALLY! He gives birth to

Do you know how you told me that I must not like the girl I was dating?  Well, I didn’t… I mean, I liked her, but not very much.  That sounds bad…  I liked her.  Just didn’t like her like her.   Anyway.  Now, I’m seeing someone else that I like very much.  And she has 3 kids.  And her kid weekends are exactly opposite of mine and I was wondering if you would mind, you know, switching our weekend schedule so that mine will correlate with hers.

 AHA!

 He was trying to sweet talk me with a working pool! 

 So, now Stanley is on his 2nd girlfriend (that I know about) since our separation/divorce.  And he told me he liked her!  I think our relationship has taken a turn.  I’m thinking for the better.  Really all I could think about (other than what she looks like) is that now maybe he will shut up when we textcommunicate about how this divorce was my idea. Because surely now he can see where my idea didn’t suck for him after all.  I didn’t know what to say for once in my life and so muttered something like

wow, she has 3 kids and you have 3 kids that is a whole damn lot of kids.  Well, I want you to be happy and so of course we can swap because I don’t have a life really.

All I could picture was Streisand and Redford and her saying,

“Your girl is lovely, Hubbell”.

and wishing I had blowdried my hair.

I don’t care really.  I do want him to be happy.  If for no other reason than he is easier to be around.  He yells less and is here less if he has someone.  So, go forth and be happy Stanley.It is getting to be my turn!