Americans in Bed

Last night I was watching Americans in Bed on HBO.

I thought it would be racy.

It wasn’t, it was kind of sad actually.

It was a documentary of couples sitting up in bed talking

about their lives, marriages, sex lives, affairs, etc.

It was kind of depressing.

 The woman up there looks sad because her boyfriend 

(they’ve broken up 22 times) is into polyamory.  

 POLYAMORY:  

The state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.   

Seriously, whatever, who am I to judge, if it works for both okay, but chick was miserable.  She was trying to fake it but she is miserable.  He is hurting her with his other sexcapades dates.  He made the statement that she is the one he is choosing to be in a relationship with and that he might have a future with, but that it would be unfair to himself if he didn’t allow himself to experience relationships (sexual) with other people.  Again, whatever.  I can hardly find one person to have sex with so maybe I’m just jealous.  There were several stories of polyamory on Americans in Bed.

Then there were these guys.

They are married but the hot one is completely bored with 

the not hot one.  He said he would give their sex life a 6/10.

Boyfriend on the right looked like he had been slapped.

I thought only heterosexual couples had that problem.

Totally cute couple.

Adorable wife said that ‘something, maybe God, told her to look at his texts

when he was sleeping’  and that she found he was having an affair.

That pic must have been a promo because otherwise they 

sat about 2 feet apart.  He kept saying, 

“I don’t know why you had to bring this up.”

She said, “Because your texts said you wanted to slide your big dick into her.”

Yikes.  She needs a 

Another cute couple alert. 

I kind of started nodding off here, 

but I think there was more polyamory.

See?  Polyamory bores me.

It should not be boring.

The whole concept is to make life ‘not boring’.

Cute Geezers

They have been married for 71 years.  

He couldn’t hear shit but I think his dick still works.

These guys didn’t hold hands until they were married.

He was saying how special it was 

when they finally got to be intimate.

She nodded and kept saying “special”

but the look on her face was like,

“I waited my whole life for 90 seconds of that?”

Interesting couple.

She’s been married 4 times, him 3.

They reconnected but went to high school together.

Get my interest?  Hmmm get it?

Well, he has erection problems because of a medical thing

and she has a vibrator.

 Yep, she does.

Anyway, long story short, too late, 

the moral of this story is that everybody you see

in carpool line, at work, at the grocery store,

has a sexual story to tell.

Some good, some outrageous, most boring.

 I could just imagine myself sitting there 

being interviewed while I was married to Stanley.

 

And how it would be if I was being interviewed with Al.

“Stop touching me there, there are people watching.”

I don’t mean it, don’t really stop. 

I know I ruined this show for you.

But for a good time, watch the Cathouse series instead.

You’re welcome.