Al was here this weekend and it was fabulous.
My batteries are recharged and I am at peace again.
Of course he said the most beautiful things.
Like for instance,
“You are the point around which my whole universe revolves.”
and
“My only goal is to fill your life with happiness and joy.”
Disclaimer:
If I didn’t know him well and know that he is sincere and has appropriate
boundaries I would be more than a little concerned about Stalker tendencies.
But Noooo. His boundaries are good.
He is just that perfect and has just lovely tendencies.
Plain sweet.
He did however call to my attention that January 30th came and went.
What is that you might ask?
It was the first anniversary of my divorce.
AND I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE
Bless my heart!
Honestly, how did that happen? I can’t imagine. I can only say that what I have grieved about the end of my marriage must not have made such an impact that I had a hangup about the date. Unless it was so traumatic that I repressed it completely. Apparently, I told him last year that my divorce was final on that date and Mr. Perfect (who doesn’t forget anything) remembered and he said he was waiting all day last week for me to mention it and want to process it. NOPE. NOT ME. Ms. Whoprocesseseverythingadnauseum forgot it in it’s entirety. Just another day. La Di Da!
I think it just goes to show that I have been sad about
the marriage
the failure I feel
the loss of security
the impact on the children
But losing Stanley the Man was No. Big. Deal.
I think it is sad in a way though that I didn’t even mark the anniversary.
I could have peed in an empty keg or something.
Laters.
One year. Not very long. Keep taking care of you…
So, I’ve been reading your blog nonstop for the past couple days (and you post A LOT, which is more than I could say for my pathetic blog I started after my divorce was final… but I digress) and I really felt like I had to comment here.
I thought that the anniversary of my divorce (August 30) was going to be a huge stinkin’ deal. I was all prepared to lay in bed with a tub of ice cream, crying into a glass of wine and watching the dumbest chick flicks I could find. After all, that’s what I did on the anniversary of the day I told him I wanted out. Then something happened. Well, more like nothing. The divorce anniversary came and went like nothing ever happened. I was still perplexed up until the last few sentences of this post.
Like Stanley, my ex keeps showing me over and over and over again why we got divorced. It has nothing to do with the fact that he was outright mean or anything. It was more of the fact that I got tired of feeling unappreciated, unloved and unable to have another responsible adult as a partner. Losing him isn’t the part that sucks. Losing my life, my house, my security, my child’s sanity… that’s the part I still struggle with.
You keep doing you. I think it’s awesome.
(BTW, I totally meant this comment to say something like, “I get it and you rock for being able to verbalize it for me!” I may have a problem with being straightforward and getting to the point…)