Are There Levels of Love?

I did have some other thoughts this week, amidst my

quiet hysteria while worrying about my u/s results

(and yes, I was quiet about it, nobody heard any hissy fits

from the Southern states so quit the hell rolling your eyes, people).

One thing I thought about, a lot, is love.

I read a piece early in the week that resonated with me.

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/how-to-stay-in-love-gmp/

It was written by Jackson Bliss who appears to be a very romantic, verbalemotional man who is very much in love with his wife.

sigh

While reading, I kept thinking how blessed you are if you go through life fortunate enough to love and be loved like that. I believe that I am loved like that now.

I love Al very much although my ADHD kicks in after a few weeks away and I kind of forget the intensity of the feelings I have for him when I’m actually with him. I want to talk to him less on the phone because it almost hurts more than it brings me pleasure.

Welcome to Crazytown.

When I’m with him I’m a different person. I’m calm, I can breathe, I can’t get close enough to him.

**Note: Al has distinguished that I had much the same experience when my kids were gone. Toward the end of the trip, I was hardly able to talk to them on the phone (I did of course) but I pulled back emotionally to some degree. Believe me, they did not feel it. The flipside to a man that loves you so hard is that they notice everything. I’m used to living largely ignored by a man. Al says he doesn’t worry when I get ‘the fade’ as we call itbecause I am such a pile of ‘love goo’ when we are together. AAARGH, now I’m thinking about love goo. Back to my topic…What was my topic? LEVELS OF LOVE. I can say for sure that Stanley and I never had that love that Jackson talks about although I felt ‘in love’ enough to marry him.

so…

Are there levels of romantic love?

What is a normal amount of love?

Can you love someone romanically just a little?

Does the level of love predict the success of a marriage?

There is of course that old saying about the thin line between love and hate. Maybe the higher the level of love the more explosive the war if it ends. I remarked the other day about Stanley and I having a civil war. Well, we never had that much of an explosive love affair to start with. Maybe the level of love isn’t as much a predictor of success as a predictor of the level of destruction if it goes bad. I have no idea, just something I’m processing. I would think that loving someone more at the start, would make falling out of love harder. Or at least, take longer.

Obviously, I’m a cynic.

But sometimes I get an older person referred for depression only to find that the reason for their depression is the death of their spouse of 60 years. Often they tell me of a great love affair that lasted until the end. So, they are out there.

One of my favorite movies is Moonstruck.

Olympia Dukakis asks her daughter if she loves her fiance. Loretta says, “No, Ma, but I like him.” Ma says, “Good, if you love them they make you crazy.” My favorite scene in the movie is the scene at the end in the kitchen. Again, Ma asks, “Do you love him Loretta?”