Back To School Sucks!

The kids are back to school and in deep already.  They are already complaining of mysterious illnesses, forgetting homework , tired all the time and I’ve been to the pediatrician 4 times in the last week.   

Jumping Bean…poor thing.  She is trying to kill me.

 

 

 

First, her ADHD meds haven’t been right. 

 

 

 

On Thursday she got in the car after school and wouldn’t look at me.  Finally, I got a clear enough view to realize the problem was her eyebrows.  Or eyebrow.  It looked like she had shaved 1/2 of one off.

 

 

 

 Then, in an effort to correct her mistake, she had drawn them on.

 

 

 

It was bad, y’all. 

I was having a really hard time not yelling at her.  Finally, I reframed it in my head and said to her that at least she was learning that a razor never needs to be used on your face.  To make my point even further, I told her that when you shave your face you grow whiskers.  That ought to work. 

Second, when she isn’t bouncing off the walls, she is saying she doesn’t feel good.

 She has been to the pediatrician 2x this week.  Once for an ADHD med check (see above) and today for general malaise.  On Friday she said she was dizzy and felt clammy and I let her stay home.  She was better over the weekend (of course) but had occasional spells that required Motrin.  Yesterday, she called to come home from school.  She couldn’t reach me so she got Stanley who took her back home.  She was fine last night, I gave her a good pep talk that she needed to tough it out and stay all day since she wasn’t really sick.  I felt confident that she would be fine.  Nope.  She called at noon.  I told her she had to try to stay unless there was fever, actual fainting, or evidence of vomit. 

Not just talk of vomit, evidence of vomit. 

She made a pitiful ‘okaaay’ sound.  Then her teacher called me and said I needed to come get her.  Aargh.  So, I told her there was no recourse but to go to the pediatrician since she couldn’t manage to stay at school.  The ped was all like, “Why are y’all back?”  Srsly.  The ped ordered blood work and I could see in JB’s eyes that she was really wishing that she had tried harder to stay at school.  Now I’m worried about the blood work.  What if she really is sick? 

Of course I go right to leukemia. 

I can’t help myself.  Results are due in tomorrow or the next day.

Third, she informed me that we had to go get her glasses fixed.  She has broken them for the 3rd time (please refer to above photo once again).  So, I made her go with me to the mall where we spent a very boring 2 hours waiting for them to fix them.  She has been telling me that she can’t get her laptop to come on.  I said, “Ask your Dad, that is more his department.”  Nope.  She said that she is afraid to tell him because he will scream.  Why yes, yes he will.  So, at some point I have to take it in to Geek Squad.  I hate Geek Squad.

The

 

 Have I said how much I hate to have to go see the Geek Squad?

 

I would rather have an anal probe.

 

 

Srsly, that would be preferable to me.

Jumping Bean needs her own handler because she is almost a full time job.

Then I found out at 2 pm. this afternoon that the Meet the Teacher night for the high school was tonight.  Aargh.  We already missed the one for the elementary school (thank you Stanley) so we needed to be there.  Stanley agreed to go, he volunteered in fact, which was good after his major fail last time.  I was still with JB getting her glasses fixed anyway. 

I know it is always crazy at the beginning of the year, but honestly, I’m just pissed that they have been in school for 3 weeks already anyway.  It has been 100 degrees here for the past week.  The hottest part of our summer has been in August.  We have had no rain, my yard is scorched, even with me out there moving the hose every few hours early in the morning or late at night, boobs flopping in my nightie.   I’m doing the best I can.

Since I’m not busy enough, I have had another bright idea.  My current job pays the bills but isn’t clinically interesting at all.   I have decided to get a certification and complete a program in Couples Therapy.  I have had one class on couples therapy in grad school but that was 20 years ago.  The program will take a long time for me to do in my spare time, but I think that a vast majority of people doing couples work have no more training in it than I do now and it will be worth the time spent.  After my own failed couples therapy and all of the reading and writing I have done on marital relationships in the past 5 years, I think I have a head start.   Couples therapy requires you to think fast and be direct, 2 things I’m good at.  Also, you have to be able to wade through high levels of bullshit.  This was made for me.

Couples therapy gets a very bad rap.

Nearly every time a couple comes in for therapy, one of them has already pulled the plug on the relationship in their head.  So, you have one person who finally wants to work on the relationship and one who is only looking for a safe place to bail.   I was exhibit A in that scenario myself.

I’m excited!  Just think of how much I am going to learn!

Poor Al, bless his heart.