I’m sad today because Al went back home after a brief visit
and I have the funeral for my friend later.
Al came on Thursday night, my night off, even though I was on for the weekend starting at afternoon carpool on Friday. We were excited to have one night of alone time before taking over the kids. He stays at a hotel when he is here when I’m on because of our no overnight visitors nest rule.
Taking my long distance boyfriend to the hotel at 10 p.m. sucks.
But I don’t want to upset the kids either, this is their home after all.
So, I was happy and all dressed up on Thursday night ready to head to the airport when Stanley comes in from work.
That wanker pulled a fast one!
Merlot was whiny saying her stomach hurt
and Jumping Bean was having a hissy fit due to little girl drama at school.
It was all really harshing my happy mood and I was waiting for him to come in so I could bolt.
He finally comes in and says that he has a Beer Club meeting that he has to go to and
“I guess I will just take the kids. They will be alright for 3 hours.”
3 hours with beer monkeys?
NOT ON YOUR SWEET ASS.
That is the equivalent of taking them to a bar for 3 hours.
NO NO NO NO NO.
The little girls hear this plan and start clinging to me, like hair on soap, begging me to intervene.
So, there went date night.
Off I went to get Al, with promises to bring him back to the house and stay until Stanley gets home.
Stanley is like, “Oh, umm, I forgot the meeting, I will owe you one.”
You bet your ass you do!
So, Al and I ate leftovers for date night, dealt with whiny kids, helped Merlot study her spelling words, until dude gets home at 9:45. We had a fabulous time alone until 2:15 on Friday when it was full on kid time. Jumping Bean was in a precarious mood Friday evening, I wasn’t sure if she was upset about school or tired or what until after I returned from dropping Al at the hotel and found a note on my bed.
I really like Al, but there is no way I can ever consider him my stepfather. I also can never see you getting remarried. But I want you to be happy. Since I can never say this to you out loud, I decided I could write it. I love you, Jumping Bean XOXO
Chick is almost 11 years old. I get all teary and decide, fuck it,
this is how she communicates with me, write her back.
Dear Jumping Bean,
I really love you and I really like Al. You and the other children will always be the most important thing in my life. You already have a father and Al would never want to come between you and Daddy. I however, do not have a husband. He is very sweet to me and just wants to make my life easier. I hope one day it will be okay with you if I get married again. I love you, Mommy.
I slip the note under her door and a few minutes later she comes in my room crying and falls into my arms. I told her I had no plan to get remarried but that I hoped that one day I did find someone to spend my life with because I really don’t want to be alone forever and she and the other kids will grow up fast and go to college and life their own lives. She nods and says she loves me. It was a love fest all around and cathartic for us both.
Yes, I was hoping to play on her sympathy, with the being alone line, but it is also the truth.
She was better on Saturday and we had a nice day yesterday. I took him to the hotel at 10 pm last night and picked him up at 5:30 this morning to get him to the airport in time for his early flight. He has a day planned with his youngest daughter and had to get back bright and early.
It is very hard to date with kids. They have opinions and baggage from their broken homes. Al’s kids want him to love their mom again and I’m sure that my kids would rather it was Stanley who made me laugh and smile instead of this other man. I realized that it was very unrealistic of me to think that they would never have a problem with me inserting another man into their lives. To be honest, Al’s kids aren’t doing great with it either and they are older.
I see this will be a long process. I will be reading everything I can get my hands on now about helping children adjust to their parent’s dating lives.
Stanley on the other hand, is on my shit list.
How does he think that it is appropriate to take 2 little girls to a bar for 3 hours?
I think a pursebrick to the noggin is the only option left to knock some sense into his head.