DIVORCE HELL?

Kim Kardashian says she is in Divorce Hell. Her hell intruded on my vaca conference trip as I was getting ready in my hotel room yesterday, enjoying kid free time and saw it big as life under the News Ticker.

Really? There are a few reasons I am not worried about Kim Kardashian.

1. She is a dumb bitch with no discernible talent or reason to be on the planet other than for the rest of us to roll our eyes and say, “what a dumb bitch.”2. At this fine Hotel where my ass is plopped on the bed watching the tv, there is a lovely menu category called UNCENSORED TV. I was hoping it was HBO on Demand because I missed Game of Thrones the other night. NO. It was naughty stuff one show entitled, ‘Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape’. For real? Surely someone sold that show to this Hotel Entertainment Group. Are we to believe they snagged it off of Youtube? I’m not that stoopid Kim Kardashian. You are peddling your nekkid ass to people in hotel rooms. (Yes, maybe I’m just jealous that people don’t pay to see mine).

BTW, don’t google ‘Kim K sex tape’ unless you want to see some naughty

3. I didn’t expect that marriage to last, she only knew him a few months and then got married on TV. Those relationships always last don’t they. As my mom says, “why do they keep marrying those stupid basketball players?” Apparently she thinks no good marriage can come to a bball player. 4. She has more money than God. She isn’t suffering. See #2. 5. Really, humiliation? I don’t see anything Kris Humphries could do to her that would embarrass her more than her stoopid opportunist mother does by whoring her out all over the world and my tv.

I COULD GO ON…

I could teach her a thing about the humiliation of divorce. First of all, the lack of money and the financial hit that comes with divorce can be quite humiliating. I may have to start doing my own pedicures for God’s Sake. The HORROR. And I can already tell my naturally blonde hair is going to be darker because I have to stretch that budget! Second, most of us were married longer than 72 days and there are children involved. We have to consider their little feelings and the shame they feel when they have to go to school and have friends and teachers (and worst yet, friend’s mothers), realize their parents have gotten divorced. I do believe that kids have shame to endure from our failures. That is a hard and bitter pill to swallow as a parent. As a matter of fact, I feel so horrible about this issue that I usually don’t dwell on that more than about 8 seconds.

MOVING ON…

True humiliation is the lunchroom lady trying to fix me up with her 57 year-old good for nothing trailer-park-living son. Sounds like Junior Haislip to me! Do I look desperate? OMG, the humiliation!

MOVING ON…

She is lucky it was only flour that got her! It could have been