Do You Need a Pill or a Pursebrick? The Correct Answer is Partner.

I had lunch with a friend the other day and over mexican she caught me up on her life.

 Srsly, why is mexican food so good?  Oh, its the cheeeze, nevermind.

This friend has had a hard time the last few years.  She had breast cancer, a double mastectomy and reconstruction, then lost her mother suddenly.  It’s been tough.  Also, she has a big, huge job and two teenagers.  She has a nice guy for a husband, he is supportive and sweet but slacking some in the ‘helping around the house’ department and she is feeling overwhelmed and anxious and irritated in general.  She says she is screaming more than a lil bit at home.

We’ve all been there.

 

 **Translation for Tina up there**

Get off the damn sofa and pick up your dishes you assholes!

She had another health scare this past summer and had what she called a ‘breakdown’. Her doctor put her on Effexor, a heavy duty antidepressant to help her cope.  (She takes Tamoxifen and the choices for medication are limited.) She said she felt over- medicated and sedated and weaned herself off a few months ago.   She told me that she has not felt depressed but has been so irritated with her kids and husband for not helping at home that her husband has asked her to go back on the medication because she’s ‘angry all the time.’  She said,

 “NO.  Why should I have to go on medication because they all suck?”

 For real.

 Does she need

 

 or a

 Marriage is a partnership not indentured servantude.

 

 What the hell is wrong with people?  I think that there is a very bad understanding about marriage and that people lose sight of the fact that it is a partnership.  When one person falls down on their job, the other person loses their partner.  They are partnerless, regardless of whether the bozo is still occupying space in the house.   I know I sound like I’m trashing men, but there are many women that are terrible partners, Al’s ex is

 I was partnerless in my marriage and it sucked.

My friend is angry because she doesn’t have an adequate partner right now.  Now, he is a nice guy and she loves him and doesn’t want to get a divorce.  But he needs to step up his game in the partner department.  Because that shit does wear thin.  I myself am

Maybe the vows we make when getting married should be all about being a ‘partner’ and that means pulling your weight in every area of making the family you created work.  I think that we need to be better educated about what makes marriages work and what marriages actually are.

 It used to be men provided and women cooked it up and kept the home.

Not so today when most women work outside of the home, often making more money than their spouses, with more demanding careers.  But their taking on the provider role doesn’t seem to have lessened their role at home.  It didn’t in my case anyway…

Now it seems women provide, cook it up, keep the home and the men sit on the sofa and scratch their balls (which don’t see much action because the women are medicated and have a reduced sex drive plus they’re too damn tired from doing all of the above.  Then the men feel free to get themselves girlfriends because their wives aren’t having enough sex with them).

 

 Anyway, my issues are showing worse than my panties.

I didn’t have a partner, I did everything, I was exhausted, I took medication.

I’m glad my friend took a stand.

Because sometimes a pursebrick is the correct answer.