GAME DAY! Bitch Be Cray Wednesday! Guest Post!

Thanks to Al because I was busy.  

But because I can’t shut up, my comments are in red.

While CM is out running like a crazy person today, bouncing between two sick kids, a trip to the car dealer and all points in between, I (Al) will attempt to add my two cents here. Mind you I have been sitting at home on the East Coast here looking out the window at the big blizzard that wasn’t.  I won’t complain though since I did get a day off.  I felt like Stanley: meaning I mostly sat around and scratched. (For real?  Never!)Compared to my beloved ( and she truly is) (awww) my daily life is very mundane.  I was telling her today that it often seems that she is the recipient of  a thousand kicks to the shins on a daily basis.  In the car, out of the car.  This kid problem, that Stanley mess, usually topped off by an ill timed dog fiasco (Freakin dog digs).  All the while making sure she is in near constant contact with me.  I don’t really know how she pulls it off without periodic inpatient treatment. (Xanax before bed)For me it is long stretches of silence punctuated by violent kicks to my junk. Usually these come in the form of a late night call or text from one of my children informing me that:a) my detested ex is insane ( I KNOW)b) one of their siblings is the biggest asshole on the planet ( this role rotates between the three)

or

c) the latest outrage perpetrated by said insane ex ( see a)In most cases I spend some time talking them down from the ledge (man is seriously good at it) and at least managing to keep the situation from going thermonuclear.

The very WORST scenario is an actual call from my Ex. 

 Now unlike Stanley there is nothing “dear” about her. 

(Seriously, this bitch be so crazy)

 I divorced her for a reason & having done so the less I interact with her the better.  Aside from my three precious children I have managed to block out 98% of my married life.  Was it all that traumatic? Probably not.  But even after a few years the bitterness of the final years continues to cloud my head.  I don’t miss ONE SINGLE THING about being with her.  I digress.So as you can tell my dealings with her are tense at best.  And lets be clear, she neither likes nor trusts me either.  She is more than happy to point out my shortcomings as a human being and heated talks between us are the norm. So imagine my surprise when one night  I get a text from my youngest child informing me (at 10:30 at night no less) that she and her mother are outside my apartment!

My Ex and my 18 year old son apparently had a big fight and she left him at the house taking just her purse and our 14 year old daughter.  I have no idea as to why she thought this may have been an appropriate way to parent,  but it ended up with me sitting in a car with her at 11 at night while she boo hoo’d about the boy ( I had sent my daughter into my apt).   Now when the kids are involved I do try to suspend my animus (I had to look this up, he has a better vocab than I do, it means “ill will”) to try to get any effective parenting done that we can.  Since my ex and I never agree on much of anything it’s no shock that kid matters are never simple. Ever.  To cut this story short my ex said she felt she wanted to teach the boy a lesson by not going home (sounds like a good deal for the boy to me) and could she (wait for it…..)

SLEEP ON MY SOFA!!!

(Cuckoo Momma say Hay-ull NO) 

This from the woman who has chewed me a new one that very morning because she was mad that the kids were texting me when she was having dinner with them. She called me all sorts of bad shit just 8 hours before!   I wouldn’t give that woman my last square of TP!

What in the name of all that is holy was she thinking?  My mouth actually hung open.   After shaking my head I calmly rejected her request and she and my daughter went home with no further incidents.  My daughter said later that she never heard them fighting and my son was clueless as to what she got angry about and said that they had a minor disagreement.  It turns out the incident she was reporting in the car, per both of the kids, happened several months ago. 

So I have bat crap crazy.

(For real, this woman is a nut.  That is my clinical opinion.)

CM has terminally lazy.

(For real.)

One can be worked with and one cannot.  I suspect that most divorces fall in between. I don’t really know how I ended up with someone who became so horrid but i do know:

She is not my friend

She was NEVER EVER EVER ( take it away Taylor) 

(Gotta love a man that takes his daughter to see Taylor Swift in concert) 

 my partner.

I made the right decision to leave.

As for how I ever married her in the first place?

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Yes, we all made a few of those decisions.  

Thanks Al for writing today!

Love.