Have I Said Yet That Dating After Divorce is Hard?

Life is crazy and I know it’s crazy, but sometimes it would be nice to have just a little bit of a break from the crazy town.  Is that too much to ask?  It’s like living in

 

I arrived in Assville on Friday.  Al was due to arrive at 11 pm and I had a billion things to do before then.  I had nest duty the night before and so had to get up at 5:45 a.m. to get the kids out the door for their 6:30 car pool.  I didn’t sleep well at all so I was dead tired that morning.   After I dropped Merlot at school I went back to the nest, thinking I would blog fast before heading out to do my billon things, one of which is my job.  I get my laptop and coffee, sit on the sofa in my blog spot, and

WOKE UP AT 11:15 A.M.

I had been asleep, sitting straight up, holding my laptop for 3 hours.

I’m lucky I didn’t short it out drooling.

 Then I had to hurry and do a billion things in the 3 hours I had before time to pick up all those kids again.  And, Al, poor Al.  He was trying to get his job done at the office when his ex called as he was about to leave for the airport.  He was in a foul mood.  FOUL.  Then he started his airport journey which included a train, which stopped early where they were transferred to a bus, and barely made his flight.  All the while he was getting fouler by the minute because of the transportation shit and convo with his ex.  Seriously, he is almost never in a bad mood and when he is it freaks me out.

 

He had a 3 hour layover in Chicago, where I sent him via text, to find a bar.

So, I picked him up and we loved and held hands and then started talking about the conversation with his ex.  NO NO NO.  I was already not happy with how it had gone down earlier in the week with her because, she’s insane, and with insane people you have to set hard and fast limits and repeat them every 2 minutes.  NO extra words because that opens the door for them to wiggle and insane people must not be allowed wiggle room.  I know this, I do it for a living, yet he still leaves her wiggle room.  So, he can’t get this deal brokered with her because he left her wiggle room.

And I’m about sick of her, she is a bully (short for bulldozer).

 

(my apologies to Kathy Bates)

Yet I realize that if we get married and live together, like ever, I am going to have to watch him deal with her.   He has a hard time setting firm limits with her because of their patterns, but he can set them with me because he learned from his mistakes.  (And that just pisses me off because she treats him like shit and he hems and haws and I say one little thing, like, “You need to answer her in 3 words because she is insane,” and he says, “I don’t really like you telling me how to handle her.”)

Doesn’t dating after divorce suck?

 So, we kind of made up, then had a good day Saturday, all back to normal, minding our own business, binge watching Netflix in between love making, and then Sunday, BAM, Assville.   We crossed paths with my parents for just a few minutes and Al and my Dad tied up about POLITICS.

For real. Which made me

Not cool.

 

I’m almost 50 years old yet still don’t want to disappoint my dad.  I want him to approve of my lovah because I already made one mistake with a man.

I was ready to hide under a rock.

I yelled at him for several hours about how he just made my life harder, thank you very much.  Then I had nest exchange and Al and I weren’t really back to solid, I was still fighting impulses to hit him with my purse.  He wasn’t due to leave until Monday so I was hoping that we would have Monday alone before his flight when kids were at school, but no.  There came along an ice storm and we had kid invasion right up to the end.   Assville (Iceville?) USA.  Before taking him to the airport yesterday, I brought him into my room at the nest and closed the door so we could talk without little ears.  The kids probably thought we were having sex, but whatever.   We hashed it out and recommitted to fight evil together, he grabbed his bag, and I took him to the airport.

There seems to be about a zillion more outside forces that impact this relationship than there were when I was dating before I got married the first time. Exes, kids, parents that I don’t want to disappoint again,  help me Jesus.

Dating after divorce sucks OUTLOUD.