Herding Cats

I love my children so much and when I’m not with them, I’m not at peace.

But, DAYUM, last night they were trying to kill me.

Jumping Bean and Merlot fight, as sisters who are 10 and 7 often do.  Then I tried to serve up dinner which was a rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes (always a winner with them) and both started crying at the dinner table and neither could or would tell me why.  Merlot finally said that the chicken tasted, “funny” and JB just sat and cried unable to utter a single word.  

JB has so much Stanley in her that it makes me insane.

I worry so much about her.  Her ADHD meds affect her appetite and she is so skinny.  So skinny.  She is tall, almost as tall as I am (which isn’t very tall, I admit) at almost 11 years-old and weighs 68 lbs.  I will do almost anything to get this child to eat.  For example, last night after she held my emotions hostage with her unexplained tears and refusal to eat what I put in front of her, I went out at 7:50 p.m. and got her some chili when she said it sounded ‘kinda good’.  Luckily she ate every bite or I might have had to kill her.

There is no way that Stanley will do that shit.

He is from the school of thought that kids eat what you put in front of them or they don’t eat.  I agree but this kid that will happily not eat at 5 feet tall and 68 lbs has to be dealt with differently.  I did get angry though at her for not being able to verbalize what she wanted because it is clear to her that I will do whatever I have to in order to get her to eat.  She is running the show on that front.

I’m trying really hard not to talk to much to her about her being thin or giving her too much attention about it other than encouraging her that her body needs fuel because the last thing I want her to do is learn that you get attention from being skinny.  That is an eating disorder waiting to happen.  In addition, her sleep is horrible.  She has never been able to go to sleep easily.  She is near 11 pm. every night and some nights it is more like 12.  I’m dead tired by that time.  She usually stays in her room but at times comes in with me late.   This child is going to be the death of me.  I was worried when I got pregnant unexpectedly at 40 that I couldn’t handle a third child.  My third child is a breeze, the deed was already done. 

She is also the child that plays Stanley and I off of each other.

Fortunately we are both aware of the situation.  He thinks I’m too lenient with her and I think he is too strict.  We are both sure that somewhere in the middle lies the answer.  Al thinks I need to involve her in planning dinner.  I will try that tactic next.  I don’t know if every child with ADHD is this tricky but if so, we really need more parent support.

Or access to a vineyard.

 Parenting is not for sissies.