I Gave Myself a Good Talking To

Al and I swap Richard Russo books back and forth

and both enjoy his novels such as, Empire Falls,

Nobody’s Fool, Bridge of Sighs, etc.

Last year in a little Southern bookstore

I found a signed copy of his autobiography,

We’ve swapped it back and forth and have

adopted one of his mother’s sayings,

“I gave myself a good talking to”

which we now use in everyday conversation.

 So, yesterday, after my meltdown about my curly-tailed

co-parent, I gave myself a good talking to.

I’ve been packing the kids, doing laundry,

making meals and washing endless dishes.

(dishwasher still broken; will cost $338 to fix., fuckery)

and

talking to myself.

BTW, Al asked why I’m packing the kids and

not Stanley.  Because Stanley’s idea of

doing that would be to holler, “KIDS GO PACK!”

They would go off to England for 2 weeks and 1 day with

2 pairs of shorts, no underwear, 2 shirts and

an American Girl doll.

Merlot’s idea of packing

I have to know they have underwear  and a toothbrush.

I just have to.

Anyway, there has been endless self talk while

reframing my attitude about Stanley.

If he is trying to get me to want to quit birdnesting

because of the mess, then he is going to have to try harder.

Fuck him and his redneck girlfriend.

If he is just lazy and waiting for me to do it,

then at least I don’t have to worry that he has been

body snatched by aliens because that is

exactly what he did when we were married.

The kids are good.

I know how hard it is to live out of a bag.

Every day that we do this is a day that the kids

get older and a day that they don’t have to swap houses.

So, I have 2 + weeks of no Stanley or his mess.

When I come in and see it when they get back,

I’m not going to say a word.

But it felt really good to say it so I will say it again…

Fuck him and his redneck girlfriend.

 **It has been brought to my attention I spell, Dalek wrong.

I won’t be making that mistake again.