I Got One Less, One Less, Problem.. Feel the Power

My 12.5 year-old daughter, known here as Jumping Bean, has gotten all into pop music.  This means that I have lost all serenity while transporting kids in the car.  It’s all 5 Seconds of Summer

“OMG, they are NOT just a BOY BAND, MOM!”

 

 

 

and Paramore, and a whole bunch more I don’t remember. 

My son sits in the back and makes fun of her.

“OH, MY SONG!”

 

 

 But I have to admit that when Ariana Grande’s Problem comes on, I’m all

 

 

 

If you haven’t heard it,  the rap part is awesome, it makes me sassy.

Problem rap

 

 

 

I got 99 problems but you won’t be one.

 

To be honest, I’m kind of glad the little girls are walking around singing this.  They sound powerful.  Much more powerful than I did when I was their age and walking around singing freaking Debby Boone.   Srsly, I just looked it up and the top song by a female in 1978 when I was Jumping Bean’s age was

 

 

 

Followed waaaay down the list by Yvonne Ellman’s “If I Can’t Have You.”

 

 

 

  Gag. 

No wonder I’m a wreck. 

Apparently during my formative years I was fed nothing but a diet of

youneedamantohavelightinyourlife Soup

with a side of you’retheonlymanforme Salad.

Washed down with some of Abba’s, takeachanceonme Milk.

 

Shit.  

 

OMG, my bitter is pouring out again.  I apologize.

I was turning over a new leaf, wasn’t I?

I need to meditate but I don’t know how…

 

 

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes, so for all of the crumbling of society and the grinding and gnashing of teeth about this generation of kids with their iphones and constant texts, maybe they will not be the pushovers that my generation was.  My generation of women feel guilty about everything.   Everything……

If we are mothers, we feel guilty if we work and guilty if we don’t.

We feel guilty if our partners cheat.

We feel guilty if we get divorced.

We feel guilty if we aren’t perfect housekeepers.

Damn you June Cleaver and all those Leave it to Beaver Reruns!

 

 

 

 

Men don’t struggle with guilt like this. 

Stanley sure doesn’t.  Even Al, who is quite nearly perfect, doesn’t.

We have long discussions where I process out my divorce again and why it happened and how terrible I feel about it and letting so many people down and he’s all like, “Who did you let down?  Stanley sure isn’t suffering and your kids are fine!”   I’m all like,

 

 

and he’s all like,

 

 

 

Here’s hoping this generation of girls will grow into women that will drop the guilt. Sure, everybody should feel guilty when they do something wrong.  I’m not talking about that.  I’m talking about feeling guilty for every little thing and taking responsibility for every little thing and every little problem that every person in your zip code has.  Maybe they will be able to set better limits and not feel like they have to have a significant other, perfect kids and a perfect house to be successful.  Oh, and they also have to make enough money to afford the lifestyle to which they are accustomed. 

 

I need to listen to my song again.