I'm Mad, I'm Scared, I'm Hormonal and My Boobs Hurt

I’m irritated with everybody.

EVERYBODY.

I’m really just trying not to have a hissy fit every few minutes.

I contemplated leaving kids on the side of the road while I was driving carpool today. They were on my nerves so bad. Every one of them. One of the little girls I drive was 10 min late coming out of the school. I was texting her mom and getting worried. Then she bounces out and says,

“I was helping Ms. Scott! She gave me candy!”

“You wasted 10 minutes of my time and made me worry for a mini snickers?”

Just kidding, I didn’t really say that. But I did roll my eyes so far back in my head I saw my liver (it asked me to lay off the chips and wine).

Even my liver is a bitch.

Then, Stanley came in all grumpy for kid exchange and was mad at me because he got caught with a kid that hadn’t finished their homework at 11 p.m. last night. Well, bitch, that’s called, parenting. I tried my best to get all the homework done but, of course, the ADHD Queen forgot something.

No words of thanks of course for all I did do.

Raking leaves, dinner cooked for him, and all the laundry was done.

Asswipe.

In a city far away, Al is dealing with his Ex about money. For real, it’s never over. That is on my last nerve, because again, she has the best deal of anyone I know because she was so heinous that he would have given his left ball to get out of his marriage.

For real.

Secretly, I’m anxious about Stanley pulling the plug on birdnesting. He keeps mentioning that we need to talk about when we are going to sell the house. I’m trying to figure out where the kids and I can live that is cheaper in the same school district and how ugly I will have to get to get more custody. We currently have 50/50 custody, but if they are going back and forth, no way can he do it. His beer hobby is too extensive. He had 2 nights last week and asked me to take one of them. Plus he left the kids last Saturday for 4 hours to go to some brew event. The only reason I knew about it at all is because The Boy threw him under the bus, he didn’t realize I didn’t know about it. He forgets to give Jumping Bean her ADHD meds at least half the time. Plus, at the house, we have carpools set up. Otherwise, we have 3 kids in 3 different schools, 2 of which start at the same time. So, I see no way he can manage that one. I make it easy on him now, doing all the kids laundry, making sure they have what the need for school and their lunchboxes, all the homework, he does none of that when he comes in on nest duty. It’s all done, picked up, backpacks by the door. He has no idea how hard this parenting gig actually is.

Plus, his coping skills suck.

Actually, what I really want to do is to binge watch the last 8 episodes of Breaking Bad that was released today on Netflix and for people to leave me the hell alone. I want to sit and drink diet coke and alternate pringles and chocolate. The kids could come in and wave but not speak and definitely not steal a chip.