Al was here from Thursday through Sunday afternoon. I had the kids for the entire time.
What was great? Help around the house, help in the yard, him sitting beside me watching TV with the kids, waking up with him here, kissing him goodnight, seeing him interact with the kids, etc…
What was awful? The lack of sex! Or I should say the sneaking around required for sex because there was a good deal of that. Which meant it was quick sex. Not bad but not ideal after 3 weeks.
We stopped short of laundry room action but only barely.
We have realized that to get alone time we must only say a few words,
“We are going in here to fix the ___________, want to help?”
They scatter like flies.
You do what you got to do.
On Thursday we followed our plan and shut up and ate our damn turkey. It really went fine though, everyone was on their best behavior and there was no talk of politics, Ferguson, nothing, nada. That was our best case scenario so score. They did ask us about our wedding plans and everyone seemed happy to hear we are going to have a real ceremony and celebration. To be honest, my mom has been the most weird about it. She suggested immediately a tasteful champagne MOB dress and the courthouse, but fate threw me a bone.
You see, last week, my mom told me that she heard my cousin’s wife got remarried. Let’s call her Emily. Emily, is the Ultimate Christian wife, but unfortunately (per my dad) she is probably frigid, and so my cousin left her for another woman. (My dad describes a lot of these Ultimate Christian wives as probably frigid. I have no idea what his basis is for that knowledge and I don’t want to know.) My cousin was whispered about for awhile but since Emily was probably frigid he was given a pass and was not shunned from his momma’s house.
Aside. If Emily had done the same they would have said she must have had a nervous breakdown or probable mental problems to have thrown away her family like that. No one would have accused my male cousin of being probably limp dicked. end of aside.
Anyway, where was I before I got all mad about the double standards in my family? Oh yes, So, Mom told me that she heard that Emily got remarried. Yes, she did. So, Mom and I looked it up together on FB. (Mom doesn’t do FB. She thinks that is is wrong to share all of your business and doesn’t want people to know all of her business. She doesn’t understand that you control what you share. She perceives FB as a ‘window into private business.’ Which means that when she gets overly nosy about how someone is aging that I let her on through my FB and she snoops.) It took less than 10 seconds for us to find Emily with her new husband at their wedding and she had on, are you ready?…. A long white bridal gown and gulp, horror of all horrors, … a veil.
My mom
“Look at that! Emily wore a real wedding dress and, (gulping sound) a veil! Times have surely changed, no one would ever do that in my generation for a second wedding! I guess you can do what you want these days and let the good times roll!”
Thanks Emily, you did me a solid. If the Ultimate Christian can do it, so can I!
Wedding planning is in progress. We have a date, June 13, 2015. We have paid a deposit on our venue, I almost have attire. I will update about that soon. We spent a lot of time talking this weekend about our relationship and what our marriage will look like. Al wants to please me and be helpful, so already that is 1000X more engaged than Stanley ever was. I want to nurture him and make sure he feels loved, which is 1000x more than his ex ever did. So far so good.
Al brings me peace. Just his presence makes me slow down. I go from 100 mph to a nice leisurely stroll when he gets off the plane. For instance, I was ramped up on Thanksgiving morning picking him up from the airport but I had been ramped up for 3 weeks since he left. I am very type A, I get a lot done in a little time, I know that shocks y’all. Anyway, I see him grinning at me from the terminal curb, he jumps in, we make out for a few minutes until a traffic guard bangs on the window. We yelled out, “Don’t be a hater” and took off laughing and holding hands down the highway. I got in the hammer lane (left lane) because that is where I always drive since I am always on task. I was all happy and giggly and finally checked my rear view mirror and there was a long line of cars behind me. I was going 50 mph in the hammer lane!
I’m just not myself when he’s around. I’m so much better. We did have one tiny hiccup but it was funny in hindsight. Stanley didn’t watch sports. Ever. He watched a lot of BBC America and SCYFY and National Geo but he did not watch sports. Al watches a lot of sports. I was happy to watch sports for a good long while on Saturday but by the end of the second football game I was getting irritable. I told him after a while that I was at the end of my rope with football and he said,
“I can’t watch HGTV all day, either.”
Okay then. Compromising about the TV will begin in 6.5 months.
Today I just miss him. I would even watch football if he was here.
Joanne Olson says
Your TV para made me LOL … I too am split from a BBC America-watching, passive-agressive, emotionally unavailable expat Brit, doing bird’s nest custody and watching my share of HGTV … you’re way ahead of me in the Al department though. I’m sure you’ll rock the veil!