It’s Time: Bring on the Black Pantyhose

I really loved this piece yesterday from Divorce Whirlwind

on making yourself over after divorce.

I had a bad love affair in my 20’s that just about killed me

after which I died my hair red.  It was fabulous.

I looked like fucking Ann-Margret.

(I wish)

 

But, it wasn’t me and after I gained my sanity back

I went back to my natural dirty blonde (with very expensive highlights).

Well, now in my divorce induced recently liberated poverty

I can afford fewer salon trips and pretty soon it will be a

dirty- dishwater- down-to- my- ass mop.

Merlot has said more than once that my hair is sort of blackish blonde.

Not good.

Seriously, I have the black root thing going worse than Drew.

As usual on Wednesday nights this Fall, last night I watched AHS: Coven.

I didn’t get to have a skype date with my lovah because I was on

nest duty and it was their bedtime so I was watching in between

scooting them to bed with threats of “Don’t come in my room! This show is scary!”

And it was scary.  Scarier than it has been so far this season.

But still AWESOME.

I don’t know who’s better: Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates or Angela Bassett.

The one that is on the screen at the time is the best.

But, Jessica Lange LOOKS great, Oh. MY. GOD.

At 64 years-old she is owning it.

 I’ve decided that I want to channel Jessica Lange as Fiona Goode

for my new look.

 

I can see it now.  I’ll get my hair fixed again,

(I’ll sell some gold or something but this shit has to go.  A girl must have some pride)

Get myself some big black glasses and start wearing black hose and pumps

with my black clothes vs. my ballet flats or super sexy Danskos (I know.  Shame)

and a fucking HAT.

Then I’m going to take my power back, by damn.

I’ll hold an unlit cigerette and tell Stanley,

“clean that kitchen, Bitch. 

Oh, you are going to do it. You can do it your way or MY way.

I don’t care which.  But I prefer the latter.”

 I told Al about my plan and he said I could totally pull it off.

He even agreed to be my entourage complete with this suit and hat.

I mean, that’s true love.

I’m calling the salon, TODAY.

I’m over being all pansy ass and sad.

Surely I have some black panty hose here somewhere

leftover from the 90’s.

 I’m feeling better already.