Keep Calm and Bury the Body

I’ve been so busy! Like so busy that when I go to bed at night my legs are throbbing. Could be that is because I’m old and everything hurts.

This weekend I was on deadline for my notes and I was on for the weekend.

For some reason it seems that when I’m on deadline the kids are much worse. They fight, they beg, they fight some more, someone falls down, there is bleeding or head injuries, the dog gets diarrhea, lost or heaven forbid, digs…

No Shit

and there I am trying to get 50 clinical notes, part of a legal psychiatric record, to make good enough sense to be sent for insurance reimbursement by midnight. Which means I have to stay out of the wine bottle which would make all the rest of it much easier to tolerate.

But I finished and didn’t kill anybody or anything including the dog.

Success!

Then on Saturday morning it got really hairy. Jumping Bean’s birthday is in 2 weeks and she wanted to take a sewing class. She wants to be a fashion designer, see? She has a body form and I buy her material and pins and she watches Project Runway and pins and creates to her hearts content. But she wants to learn to sew. I am HOPELESS. HOPELESS. But heaven forbid I be the one to stand in the way of her dream.

HOPELESS.

Just the sight of a sewing machine causes me extreme anxiety and my hair starts falling out in clumps. I start rocking to self sooth and making quick repetitive movements.

self soothing adult

For her birthday and because I adore every hair on her head, I agreed to take a beginning sewing class with her on Saturday morning. We were going to make a sock monkey, learning basic machine and hand sewing. Well, she did great. She had a great time and was a quick learner and her seams were straight and her monkey was precious. By the end of those 4 hours, my neck was hurting, I had a screaming headache and my monkey looked like it was physically and mentally impaired.

Then I got home and my mom was here to help decorate. God Bless Mom, but no freakin way I would have tried to do that in the state I was in after the sewing experience. I recognize that working with your hands can be a very calming experience for some people. The woman that taught the class said that she sits on the sofa and sews or embroiders something every evening for stress relief.

It makes me agitated and homicidal. But I didn’t kill anyone, so success.

So, the kids, mom and I began the tree decorating process.

We did it. It’s pretty.

I didn’t kill anyone or anything so success.

Then I ignored the throbbing and went to the mall. It was my precious mom’s birthday on

Sunday and I needed a delicious cake and a present.

I did it. I managed the mall with a screaming neck from Sock Monkey stress and covered with glitter from the Christmas Tree. Did I mention in the middle of tree decorating we decided we needed to go to Home Depot for more supplies?

I didn’t kill anybody or anything.

Success.

Sunday we had the birthday party after church (where I tried to meditate and calm my ass down) and then I had to get 2 projects done with the little girls for school. I think they were scared by the look on my face and so didn’t mess with me and instead both worked diligently on their projects. We had to make one run to Target in the middle for supplies and more hot glue but we finished.

Possibly I have 3rd degree burns from the hot glue gun.

But I didn’t kill anybody or anything, so success.

Stanley came in at 5 and yelled his head off in the first 5 minutes

because the Boy hadn’t started his 20 minutes of homework.

And I had to kill him, sorry.

Not really, but I didn’t like him much.

Yesterday I had to attend a conference to get my remaining CEUS (Continuing Ed Units) before the end of the year. It was awesome. I sat down for 7 hours. Today I’m at home with Merlot who has fever and a cough. I’m sorry she is sick but I am loving my forced day off holding her and kissing her head. Judging by the number of times she has sneezed on me, I’m guessing I will have it by Wednesday evening.

I haven’t bought one gift. I’m also not doing that stupid Elf on the Shelf thing so don’t even ask.

Mine would look like this.