Kids Know an Assclown When They See One

I still haven’t had my meeting with Stanley.  We got delayed again due to unexpected circumstances.  After work on Wednesday, I was  digging in a dirt bed that I intend to transform into a flower bed, minding my own business, and congratulating myself on my use of a shovel, when Mom came in with Merlot who was sobbing and limping.

 

 

She hurt her ankle on the playground during the last 5 minutes of school.  

One look and I knew she had to go to the ER.  I sent a text to Stanley and to Al, telling both where I was off to and climbed in Mom’s car (she volunteered to drive us so I could sit on the backseat with Merlot) covered with dirt from my soon to be flower bed.   We wait 2 hours, deal with dumb ass after dumb ass, and then they tell me that the xrays are inconclusive and she can’t rule out a fracture and they want to send us to the orthopedic specialist at their after hours clinic.  Call to Stanley to update him and ask him to go get the boy who is at a friend’s house working on a project.  Mom agreed to take Jumping Bean home and drop us at the clinic.  Stanley agreed he would come out and meet us there.

Merlot and I are waiting and waiting, aging every second.

 

She’s crying and I’m trying to console her.

Finally, they put us in a room.

At some point in there my phone died.

No phone, no car, baby who’s crying and can’t walk, covered with dirt from my dirt bed.

So, I call him again using the clinic phone.

I’m all like, “Okay we are in a room can you come on now?”

and he’s all like, “I’ll come in a while, I’m just sitting down to dinner.”

Srsly.

I’m all like, “Well, please don’t have dessert and coffee because she’s crying out here.”

 

Merlot was crying from pain and fear and hunger.  She’s like, “Is he coming Mommy?”  I said, “Yes, he’s eating his dinner.”  She burst into louder sobs and I said, “I know, I know, I want to hit him with a brick.”  She almost laughed.  I said, “Srsly, he must not get the urgency of this situation.”  She almost laughed again.

Then the Orthopedist came in and said she had a fracture in her growth plate and we totally quit laughing.

 They got her fixed with a boot and crutches, and we slowly made it to the lobby.

Still no Stanley.

I call him again from the lobby phone.

Finally he shows.  Merlot tells him she hopes he enjoyed his dinner.

Passive-aggressives start early, my friends.

He picked her up and put her in his car and drove us back to the house.  It was my night on so he quickly dropped us and left.  He gave her a hug and I heard him whisper in her ear that he is always there for her and will always come right away if she needs him.

She hugged him and nodded, but looked at me and I knew she was thinking,
“Sure, right away after you’ve finished dinner.”

I was like,

 

So, she has to be off of it for 4 weeks.  I kept her home yesterday to let her get used to the crutches and boot (cast Monday), but she is at school today.  She started crying at bedtime last night because he is on for the weekend.  Jumping Bean came up with the idea of maybe taking her to get her ears pierced this weekend because she has been begging for me to take her.  I guess 9 with a broken growth plate is close enough to the 10 year old age limit I set for ear piercing.

I know he was off parenting duty on Wednesday, but you are never really off parenting duty and he needed to get his ass out there.   I know he was probably having dinner with his girlfriend and she may not have been happy about me calling over and over.

I was so mad at him I considered calling him “Honey” on his FB page.

Anyway, she is totally aware now that she has an assclown in her family tree.